Welcome to the Tantric Male blog for Sir Dave!

Check back here for the latest news, appointment availability, new purchases, new ideas and just my thoughts on life work and the world. Oh and maybe the odd photo or collection of photo's I like.

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Help Send The King To IML

5th March 2017

For a long time now I’ve felt in a minority … a proud active Leatherman. But one for who the majority of the gay fetish “scene” in the UK hasn’t held much interest. I’ve always enjoyed my trips to Leather events and bars in the USA – CLAW (Cleveland Leather Annual Weekend) is a favourite event, and The Eagle in San Francisco a favourite bar.

And one of the reasons I have always enjoyed them is they have a real sense of community, of support, of brotherhood.

Something that until recently I can’t really say I have found at most events in the UK. I recently had my first visit to The Backstreet in London, what I can now see has been the UK’s only Leather bar for a long time. But that is going to form another blog post in the coming weeks.

This past weekend was the Annual General Meeting of Manchester Leathermen (MLM). The group was founded in 2012 and in 2015 merged with the Manchester Superchain, and last year I was excited to join as a member and attend my first MLM events.

Unfortunately, I have found it hard to get to as many of the regular events they host as I would like. The additional cost of a hotel (living two hours away) and free weekends lining up with events seem limited.

Even though I can’t get to many events I follow the activities of the group through their Twitter and Newsletters etc. Throughout all of this there comes a real sense of community, a group of people who support each other, who want to build something more than just another bar night.

One of the members of MLM who has helped spread the word of the group across the country and Europe is Joe King. He won Mr Leather UK 2016 and then Mr Leather Europe 2016. As a holder of both titles he has worked for the benefit of the community.

And now he is hoping to make it to International Mr Leather this May in Chicago. But attending such an event takes time and money, quite a lot of money!

One of the aspects of community I have admired from the American Leather scene is its willingness to support each other in representing their own bars, cities and organisations.

IML is an amazing event to attend, and for many it involves one thing – sex and lots of it! For others it’s cocktails, and lots of them, for others it’s about social time, shopping and discovering new friends.

For those who are attending to compete it is a very different weekend! They must attend all the formal events, rehearsals, meetings, meet and greets, interviews with judges, photo calls, press calls, networking and promotional events.

It’s busy, it’s hard work, it’s incredibly full on! In fact, most contestants usually have at least one person with them acting as their Personal Assistant. Ensuring they attend everything, are in the right place at the right time, have everything they need, their kit is ready, they eat, they sleep and hopefully get to enjoy what is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

The only time a British Leatherman has won the title of International Mr Leather was when John Pendal won in 2003. So I think its’s about time we changed that! And we also showed the rest of the kinky leathery world that the UK is working hard to build an amazing community. And quite frankly American’s love the Royal Family …

So please join me in helping Send The King to IML and make a donation to his travel fund and to put the UK on the map again at the worlds biggest gay fetish event!

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Visiting a Pro-Dom / Escort

4th January 2017

Happy New Year and welcome to 2017!

Many people start January with resolutions that last about a week, but some do use the new year as an opportunity / excuse to try new things. Or to think to yourself this year you are going to take that next step – whatever it may be.

And that may be booking your first visit to an Escort / ProDom. So I thought I would start the year by offering my guide to making use of a professional’s services.

Why pay?

One of the greatest taboo’s that probably still exists is that of paying for sex. If you use apps like Grindr, Scruff, Recon, Tinder etc you are already paying for sex with time spent searching. Your time is valuable … you can waste hours on apps trying to find a good fuck. More if you want a kinky session!

One of the great things about paying for an escort is that you get what you want and when you want it, and you won’t feel judged for what you enjoy. I have clients who visit because they have specific fetishes that they get turned on by, and it is difficult to get people who share the interest. And they don’t worry about people telling them fetish is disgusting / weird / stupid / wtf. They get to come along and have mind blowing sex without judgement.

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Wishing you a Happy Kinkmas and a Spanking New Year

23rd December 2016

As Frank once sang, and now the end is near its time to face the final curtain. And that end is to say goodbye to 2016 in just over a weeks time! This year has flown by, and you have filled it with so many great memories for me.Read More …

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30 Days of Kink: Day 18

6th October 2016

Day 18: Any kinky/BDSM pet peeves? If so, what are they?

Two words … “no limits”.

The amount of times I have seen or read this, people who really don’t understand the difference between fantasy and reality. When going through play negotiation when asked what are they into / would they like the worst answers can also include:

  • Whatever you want to do
  • I don’t mind, I just want to submit and get used / abused

When people say any of the above I ask about a hard caning – one that may leave marks, or how about some needle play, fisting, toilet use? How about sissyfication and putting you in a lovely frilly dress and nappy? How about a branding scene?

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30 Days of Kink: Day 16

3rd October 2016

Day 16: What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?

There is always going to be a stigma associated with BDSM / kink play or what some may refer to as minority / alternative sexual interests. I’ve been called a deviant before now … I see that as a compliment.

People have preconceptions about sex and sexuality they don’t understand. And they can be very close minded to other people’s interests, and this applies to those both inside and outside the kink community. Sometimes those judgemental attitudes are worst from within our own community which makes me feel sad. Just because you don’t share someone else’s fetish or kink that is ok!

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