Welcome to the blog of Sir Dave where you can find news, appointment availability, new purchases, new ideas and just my thoughts on life work and the world. Oh and maybe the odd photo or collection of photo's I like.
Over the recent weeks, I have received several messages and calls from people asking if I would be happy seeing them because they don’t feel they have the right look, body shape or size. Or that their fantasy is too “odd” or “unusual”.
I’m Sir Dave and like to think of myself as a Professional Kink and Fetish Enabler. For me a really important part of what I do is making sure everyone feels welcome, everyone feels sexy, and everyone gets to enjoy their kink, fantasy or fetish.
Whatever it is.
No judgement, no criticism, no “oh my god really?!” Just a space to indulge your interests and enjoy some fun together.
So I wanted to touch on a few specifics to help you feel comfortable in opening a conversation with me. First of all, let’s talk about bodies. I have said before many times I have no hang-ups about people’s bodies shapes or sizes. Porn and social media generally show the stereotype of a good looking body.
And if we don’t fit into that mould we can be made to feel we aren’t desirable or that we aren’t welcome in the club so to speak. Well, I am here to say you are most definitely welcome in the club!
One question I get is about age … and I can assure you that you are never too old. One of my oldest clients was disappointed he couldn’t come for a spanking on his birthday to celebrate his 80th! But he did get a good 80 whacks a few days later!
I do have one age limit though – you must be over 18 to come for a session. If I don’t think you are, or you look like an incredibly young thirty-year old I may ask for ID. Please don’t get offended – I am just ensuring everyone is safe, and that I am completely happy we are both consenting adults.
So age isn’t an issue, what about body sizes. This is probably the biggest barrier for so many, body confidence. Too thin, too fat, don’t have muscles, don’t have a six-pack, don’t have the right amount of body hair – too smooth, too hairy.
I don’t have a six-pack and I have a belly. But I quite like one. I also like cake and red wine – so it is fortunate I enjoy a bit of fat!
Some people are bigger, they look at a biscuit and feel like they gain half a kilo! But sometimes people are really thin, and their body type and metabolism mean they can’t ‘bulk up’ … they don’t gain weight or muscle no matter how much they want to.
We all have different bodies, and they are all amazing and sexy to me! I have had clients who are too thin for some of my restraints on the smallest hole, I’ve had clients that my arms won’t reach around when I give them a hug.
You have a body, and I am not going to judge you by it, I’m just going to make you feel sexy and enjoy discovering your erogenous zones and how I can have fun with you. So never feel that because you don’t look like a Tom of Finland character, or a Love Island cast member you aren’t welcome in my dungeon. All bodies are!
And hopefully, I can help give you a bit of body confidence to take away with you. And this also applies to gender identities. I have cis-male, cis-female, trans-male and trans-female clients. And if you have a particular pronoun you wish to be known by just let me know.
I had one client for whom I was one of the first people he saw and talked to as part of his transition journey, I don’t think anyone else knew at the time. The emotional release and acceptance he had of being referred to as my ‘boy’ was huge for him. It gave him confidence in his own identity – and it was truly an honour to be apart of that.
I guess what I am trying to say, it isn’t about how you look that matters to me. It is about how you feel and how I can make you feel that is most important. But what about experience – why would I want to see someone who hasn’t done anything kinky. That doesn’t matter – I want to help you enjoy your kinks. I love introducing people to the joys of BDSM and fetish!
And if you are experienced but don’t like pain, anal, boot worship, “Yes Sir No Sir” roleplay, or bondage that is fine. If blindfolds freak you out that is not a problem – just let me know. Or maybe you enjoy something like ass play, but worry you can’t take a massive dildo like everyone else on Twitter seems to do now. Don’t worry … we go to your level, your interests and your limits.
Fuck what everyone else says you should do. It isn’t their session – it is yours! So don’t feel any expectation to have to do something you don’t enjoy.
What if you feel your kink or fetish is too “odd” or “unusual” that you can’t tell anyone for fear of being ridiculed?
I am the person you can tell your fantasy to, I am the person who can help you explore it. You will not be judged or criticised – sexuality is an amazing thing! We all have those things that turn us on like nothing else, we can’t explain why we just know they make our dicks twitch.
So come and enjoy them! Our fetishes and fantasies are deeply personal, and there is always a fear of shame when we share them with someone else. I will never shame you, or make you feel that your fantasy is wrong. It is what turns you on, and I want to help you explore that. And most importantly I won’t share anything about it with others! It is between you and me and has nothing to do with the rest of the world.
I have had sessions where we have done some amazingly fun and unique things – some that many definitely thought too freaky to share with anyone else. People who have waited soo long to do something or have it done to them – the moment they get the permission to do it, and know it’s fine is magical! Of course, sometimes we can’t make a fantasy happen.
I can do many things .. but I don’t have WonkaVision for example to make you 10cm tall to indulge in your Land of the Giants fantasy. But! I can help you enjoy that fantasy through roleplay, chat, sex talk or other means.
Having a wank to some porn or erotica is horny, but add someone to talk you through it to make the fantasy together can lead to mind-blowing orgasms!
So, to finish please remember whatever your body or secret sexual fantasy. I can be the person to make it happen for you.
Safe, discreet, confidential!
Don’t just wank over it, make it happen!
Are you ready? If you have always wanted to explore a kink, fetish, submission, or just feel your fantasy is too perverted to share with someone I am your man, your Master, your guide or whatever you need.
At the moment we cannot of course physically get together. But if you would like to arrange some time to chat online, on the phone, WhatsApp or perhaps even a Zoom call please feel free to get in touch,
You may have heard about a new boy on the block … Kinkster App. Lots of people are getting excited about it, me for one. And lots of people are asking why do we need yet another bloody hook up app when we have Recon, Grindr, Scruff, FetLife, Twitter, Growlr, Grommr, Gaydar (is that still a thing?) and plenty other less well known or used sites.
I thought rather then just sharing my signup code I’d help explain why Kinkster is different, why it is needed and why you need to sign up.
For the benefit of the community
One of the biggest differences between Kinkster and pretty much all the other apps is profit.
The team being Kinkster have setup the company as a Community Interest Company and not the traditional Limited company most businesses use. A CIC has to be run as a community or social enterprise – the profits are for the community or to be put back into the organisation to help build it and develop it. Not for the profit or benefit of the shareholders.
So the focus isn’t on becoming rich – it isn’t on making money, by law it has to be on (in this case) connecting a community together and helping that community meet and support each other.
It isn’t actually an app
The name is Kinkster.App – it’s an app to meet like minded guys, girls and those yet to decide. And to build social connections, to chat to people, engage in discussion and find events to attend.
But it isn’t an app … you won’t get it from the Apple App Store or Google Play Store.
It’s a website, a website that does a lot of clever stuff to look and work like an app.
And why is that a good thing?
Take a look at Recon and Scruff – they are getting more and more restricted in what you can show on a photo, Scruff’s latest rules are incredibly restrictive for something based around sex. And that isn’t anything to do with Scruff – that is the choice of Apple. They are getting stricter and stricter with sex related apps and anything hinting at consensual sexual activity. BLUF recently worked tirelessly to get an app approved that was just for event listings. It mentioned fetish so they wouldn’t approve it for distribution via the App store. And if it isn’t on the app store it is practically impossible to your app out to iPhone users.
Recon photos have to be assessed to see if they are App friendly. For android you can get around this by installing an App that hasn’t come via the Play Store, but I do fear it is only a matter of time before Recon disappears from the App stores.
So if it isn’t an app and just a website that means it doesn’t need any corporates approval for you to use it. It just needs to satisfy the laws of the country. And it makes it a lot easier for the developers to roll out fixes, features and updates – because you don’t have to do anything!
And it won’t take up critical storage space on your device.
“But a website only works when online, an app works all the time.” Sure, but if your not online how you going to find shags and chat to people around you? How you going to send a message or read someones feed? Everything about a social connections app needs online access. So an App has no real significant benefit other then making development harder, slower, more expensive for the business behind it while making the stores (ie Apple and Google) money.
It’s not just for kinksters’s
There is a second site called GMeet … if Kinkster is a new Recon, GMeet is a new Grindr. Meet guys who want to fuck, but don’t want all the accessories and dressing up to go with it. And its also for the social side of life – its not just about wanna shag? Both apps are about the social as well as sexual connections we make, sometimes those social also involve gear, sometimes they don’t.
At some point I fully expect Twitter to succumb to the political pressure of being an American Corporate and have to ban any mention of knobs, bums and sex. Unlike tumblr it isn’t predominately porn based, but the business model of traditional advertising companies and sex don’t go together too well.
So GMeet and Kinkster will also have a feed option that you can follow people on, or maybe even a group to meet like minded people. Sounds like twitter, so it offers much more social interaction rather then just messaging,
And the sites lets you manage this through one login – so you don’t need to login to loads of apps. And it also lets you create up to three separate profiles on each site (three on Kinkster and three on GMeet), If you are a big scat perv and know that puts a lot of guys off, create a profile for your pig side and one for your sluttier side maybe and then one for your pup or inner baby. Or for the vanilla site a gaming profile, a cooking one and one for work maybe.
The site also won’t be exclusively gay, LGBT+ or male only. And this has been one of the problems I think sites like FetLife has faced in building its gay membership – a lot of guys don’t want to chat to people they aren’t sexually interested in. So there will be options on either site (Kinkster and GMeet) where you can set who you are visible to in searches etc. You may have a social GMeet profile that is happier to meet quite a wide range of people, but a Kink side that is targeted to only Male or Female partners.
Yes, but do we really need another app?
All the existing ones have their failings, some too restrictive in content, some promote themselves and their own events too much, some only allow certain types of people (some sites even filter by are you good looking or rich enough to be a member).
Kinkster and GMeet are hoping to build a broader spectrum of appeal, that isn’t so restricted by corporate approval policies and that is designed to build connections and community. Not just about sex.
Still not sure? I haven’t seen the app myself yet – just seen what they have posted online and had some discussions with the developers. They are very open to suggestions and ideas on how to make it an amazing platform. But they need to launch it slowly, test it, develop it and see what the community wants. So give feedback and ideas, don’t expect it to be included on launch but if it is a good idea you may see it in a future version.
Claim your name
In closing, it will be worth claiming your name now. Your ID is your address online, so grab it before anyone else does. Even if you don’t want to use it you can make sure no one pretends to be you.
Click the picture above to signup, and let’s see what happens!
Images used with permission.
I’ve been a big fan of the photographic work of Neil Z Page Images, and have had the pleasure of meeting Neil at several events. So when I decided to get a new series of photo’s for the website and social media it was a very shortlist, so short in fact there was only one name on it.
So this month I will be adding new photos the the gallery page and social media. Follow me on Twitter to find out when they are available, but until then here is a preview:
We had a great day getting this series of pictures, I’m really excited to share them with you all and looking forward to booking another session in the new year!
For those who wish to explore a longer session, or to have the opportunity to loose yourself in your sub headspace I have introduced ‘Slave for a Day’. This is a full days booking, usually starting around 10am and going on into the evening.
Like all of my sessions there isn’t a set structure to the day, all will be discussed in advance of your visit on how you wish to use the day and what sort of experience you would be looking for.
What would you do with at least 8 hours to spend in the company of a Dom with extensive private Dungeon? What is the fantasy you want to really explore?
Here are some suggestions, but these are only my ideas – what’s your ultimate fantasy to make reality?
Read More …