Welcome to the blog of Sir Dave where you can find news, appointment availability, new purchases, new ideas and just my thoughts on life work and the world. Oh and maybe the odd photo or collection of photo's I like.
Day 21: Favourite BDSM related book (fiction or non-fiction)
I don’t really read that much fiction (kink or not), I get too easily distracted.
But I do love to read things to educate and extend my knowledge, and am building up quite a nice library of kink related books / magazines.
Notable titles that I have enjoyed include (in no particular order):
I also have a collection of some great photography books:
I’ve been looking back at an old blog and a few years ago I wrote a post about the SM Apartments, owned by SteelCollar, in Berlin. I thought it was worth sharing a slightly updated version of this post as some of you kinksters may be interested in it.
I’m very lucky in that I have my own permanent dungeon space, but appreciate that most people don’t have that luxury. And so quite often look at hiring somewhere to play, and over the years there have been some amazing play destinations. The Black Tulip in Amsterdam was quite legendary for example!
Around the UK and London there are some dungeons available for the evening or by the hour. But there is something about taking a break away with your boy /slave / maid to an apartment that has everything you need and a fully equipped dungeon & more right there. Oh and one that happens to be round the corner from some very horny bars!
And the SM Apartments are still, in my view, some of the best dungeon spaces you can get!
Berlin is also home to the Hoist Basement apartments – but these don’t appeal as much for me. And there is a very simple reason – the Hoist ones are almost over styled to be hard sex environments. Yeah a good dirty play space is awesome, but I really also like comfort and style to relax in and have my boy clean my leathers and boots in or just sit at my feet as we relax with a good wine. And the SM Apartments offer both the play space, and relaxation and comfort.
This trip we stayed in The Suite, the largest of the three apartments available. This review is based on a visit from 2012, so some of the decor and features and decor have changed since then, but the principles and ideas are the same!
I’ve said many times before that BDSM and time in the Dungeon doesn’t have to include pain, it isn’t what it is all about.
But for some it really is … and when you find those true masochistic pain pigs oh the fun to be had! There are many different ways of exploring a subs need and desire for pain, suffering and torture – spanking, flogging, canes, tit clamps, candle wax, electro / eStim are fine examples. The latter particularly so if they want to ensure no marking / bruising on the skin.
But one area of great interest to me is CBT … cock and ball torture, again perfect for inflicting anything from a mild “ouch” to severe agony without any marking. And hearing a subs muffled screams through the gag is pretty much guaranteed to get my cock rock hard!
CBT generally falls into three types of play – crushing / squeezing, stretching and hitting. Some are able to endure a lot more of one form then another, for example stretching can be taken to an extreme level where the sub is suspended by their balls! Clearly not for everyone, but it is definitely possible with experience and practice.
Read More …
There is something special about the loss of control and freedom, particularly when that loss is physical and restrictive. But bondage comes in many forms so it is important to explore which appeals to you.
In some ways, the hardest!
No physical restraints, just mind over body. You are given an instruction to follow, a position to stay in and you must hold it for a given time or until told otherwise. Failure can result in punishment! It can be incredibly powerful … particularly in a bar.
You are told you are always to stand 10cm behind your Master, hands behind your back. That’s it – wherever he stands, you must stand immediately behind him. At the bar ordering a drink, chatting to some of his friends, standing in line for a urinal, standing at the urinal you must always be there. He probably won’t talk to you, but he will know of your presence and that is all he needs.
You know you’re a bondage fan if you can think back to being a kid and remember all those police shows for one thing … handcuffs! You wanted nothing more than to feel those steel cuffs get locked into your wrists.
And even now they are amongst my favourite bondage gear, particularly my solid folding speedcuffs. Simple, easy to put on and very effective. There is something about the feel of cold steel against your skin knowing you can’t escape that is quite fun. Or you can go a bit further with some shackles – thick metal cuffs locked on with chain between them, add a pair to your ankles, a metal collar and more chain to link it all up. The perfect prisoner.
One of the great things about a my dungeon is that it has high ceilings … and high ceilings are good for hanging things from. Subs particularly!
Many like the feeling of being ‘vulnerable’ – a real sense of loss of control, Sir could do whatever he wanted. And suspension play provides a very definite loss of control as you feel the ground beneath you stretches out of reach. It is very much the ultimate in helplessness.
I currently have two primary attachment points for suspension play – a manual and electric hoist. They are both excellent at what they do, just operate at different speeds. The electric hoist moves very quickly (and quite loudly … but only while moving), and the manual is an American made worm-gear winch that moves very slowly, quite subtly you could say.
My favoured suspension scene is using the Fetters suspension harness with the manual winch. The harness has thick heaving padding on the leg straps and hip area. Made of very thick strong leather this harness is very adjustable so can be adjusted to fit just about every body.
But the fun only starts when your strapped into the harness. With the slow hand winch each turn of the handle is a very small movement – I get to decide if your feet are on the floor, you are on the tip of your toes, just able to touch the floor if you really stretch your foot out … or flying no chance of escaping!
But then of course I don’t want your hands getting in my way, so some padded four buckle hand restraints soon sort that! Hands kept out of the way behind your back or maybe clipped up to the suspension bar. Then your feel pulled back and up – definitely nothing you could do now.
And then the fun can really start … all depending on what you like to experience. Maybe just a hood / blindfold and some gentle cock teasing … a vibrator on the tip of your hard dripping cock?
Or some eStim fun, how about some cock and ball torture? Whatever you like to experience suspension really intensifies the experience.