Welcome to the blog of Sir Dave where you can find news, appointment availability, new purchases, new ideas and just my thoughts on life work and the world. Oh and maybe the odd photo or collection of photo's I like.
I have some slaves who follow various protocols when they visit. Coming for a session starts off with getting into the right head-space. Leaving the trappings of everyday life behind and allowing yourself to let go and become the sub/slave your heart desires.
For example, one dirty cock hungry slut who visits knows that as soon as the door opens he is to go to the dungeon. Once there change into something slutty showing off his cock and ass, puts clothes and belongings in the cupboard. Then when ready he kneels waiting for me to come in and put a collar on it.
That is a very straight forward protocol to start a session, it works because we have built a relationship over time, we know and understand the limits of what we will do. And after a session or between sessions we discuss them, we explore ideas outside the dungeon. This allows sessions to stay focussed on playing.
I have another service-oriented slave who has a very strict protocol, it has a series of house rules that have been agreed upon. These do not need discussing or reminding, it just knows them. I have had several enquiries about Slave for a Day experiences lately (and the occasional weekend) – for those who crave submission and service rather than sexual play these may be something you connect with.
Clothing and choice of clothing is very personal, it is part of who we are – our clothes are an extension of us. In many cases we also use them to communicate our likes, interests or what sort of tribe we consider ourselves.
Taking away that choice of clothing is a perfect and subtle loss of control. Take a slave out shopping or for coffee and choose their clothing. Push them out of their comfort zone maybe, wear something they wouldn’t choose or wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing in public. Nothing like chaps or kink wear, it is not cool to force kink on others (they cannot consent). But it could be as simple as choosing which t-shirt and trousers they wear.
Take away the clothes and they are very exposed – physically and emotionally. Total loss of power and a display of commitment.
My protocol slave isn’t allowed clothes when in my presence in private (hotel room, dungeon or home etc). Unless it is given explicit instructions I expect it naked at all times. This of course comes with some practical considerations – my responsibility is to ensure slaves wellbeing and if it is naked then I must be aware of its body temperature. If it is cold and shivering, I have failed in my own duties – so naked service comes with a price for me, heating bills!
As soon as it arrives in my home it knows it is to wait for instruction. It will walk in, strip naked and carefully place all its clothes into the storage box waiting. The position it waits for instruction in is determined by what it sees in the hallway. Nothing aside the storage box it stands, hands behind back and waits. A folded rectangular towel on floor it kneels and waits, a square folded towel it sits and waits.
If there is a collar waiting it will assume the appropriate position and hold the collar out ready for me to take it and lock onto its neck. Shackles, it will shackle its wrists and ankles again holding the collar waiting for me to lock it on.
This allows it to focus on what it sees as its purpose – to serve and be of service. BDSM Slavery is different for different people, for some it is being used sexually or for sexual pleasure, for others it is to be objectified, to serve and to make their Master’s life easier. However someone submits, and whatever the nature of the play or service getting into that headspace is so critical.
What was your first kinky sexual experience? If you haven’t had one yet, talk about what you hope to have happen.
I’m not sure! Though I can remember buying my very first bit of kinky gear, and of course it had to be leather. It was a plain leather collar from Expectations in London, in fact I still have it and it was the first picture I posted as part of my Collar photo series on Instagram. Going into the store, wow – you walk up a couple of steps to the door and then down a flight of stairs into the basement. The walls either side are covered with posters for fetish events, bars and clubs. But the best thing about it is the smell! The smell of leather and rubber as you walk in is quite intoxicating!