Welcome to the Tantric Male blog for Sir Dave!
Check back here for the latest news, appointment availability, new purchases, new ideas and just my thoughts on life work and the world. Oh and maybe the odd photo or collection of photo's I like.
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I’ve said many times before that BDSM and time in the Dungeon doesn’t have to include pain, it isn’t what it is all about.
But for some it really is … and when you find those true masochistic pain pigs oh the fun to be had! There are many different ways of exploring a subs need and desire for pain, suffering and torture – spanking, flogging, canes, tit clamps, candle wax, electro / eStim are fine examples. The latter particularly so if they want to ensure no marking / bruising on the skin.
But one area of great interest to me is CBT … cock and ball torture, again perfect for inflicting anything from a mild “ouch” to severe agony without any marking. And hearing a subs muffled screams through the gag is pretty much guaranteed to get my cock rock hard!
CBT generally falls into three types of play – crushing / squeezing, stretching and hitting. Some are able to endure a lot more of one form then another, for example stretching can be taken to an extreme level where the sub is suspended by their balls! Clearly not for everyone, but it is definitely possible with experience and practice.
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The festive season is well and truly upon us now! But what to buy that boy / Sir / pup / pervert in your life? Here are some of my kinky Christmas present suggestions!
Short Rubber Covered Cane (£6.99)
Canes, oh the fun you can have with a simple cane and masochist! These short canes are great for using across the body, used gently a little reminder of who’s in charge or more forcefully for disciplining!
The small size allows for easy control, and packing away in an overnight bag for trips away or even a local BDSM play club.
And at just £7.00 the perfect stocking filler!
Spunk Hybrid Lube (£12.99)
Quite frankly lube makes for better sex! And good lube makes for amazing sex. Spunk lube is one of my favourite lubes on the market at the moment for fucking and play (I prefer powder lubes for Fisting and big toy ass play).
The name comes from the fact it looks like spunk, not really a selling point for me … the best bit is how well it works! It is a silicone hybrid lube so condom and rubber gear safe but also washes off super easily. And if it starts to dry a little when playing just add some water / spit / piss to get it all slippery again!
Tasteless, hypo-allergenic and all those other things you read about that sound good. But ultimately this does a great job of keeping your cock sliding in the bottoms hole! What more could you ask for in a lube.
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Many years ago when I first visited Birmingham Bizarre Bazzar there was a leather straitjacket.
But this wasn’t just some run of the mill straitjacket, this was an item of beauty! The quality of the leather, the finish, the craftsmanship of the design and build was amazing. And that is how I discovered Top To Bottom Leathers, a small British company specialising in bespoke quality leather bondage equipment and products. And they are now one of my two main providers of leather restraints and products.
The company was formed in 2001 and have built a large legion of fans who love their products, they no longer visit many (if any) of the fetish markets / events because their order book is usually full. And if they take on too much work the level of service they provide can only go down through delays in delivery.
All of their own products are made to order, they don’t hold stock items, so if you need a new collar tomorrow these guys won’t be able to help. But if you want a locking collar that fits perfectly you will have reached the right place.
What are your views on the ethics of kink?
This question I, and it appears others, struggled with – in what context are they asking question. Kink in terms of a lifestyle choice and the general morality of kinky action, or the ethics by which we play?
There are those who see sex as purely for the procreation of a species, they either don’t understand or believe it can be an activity that people can participate in for the simple reason of enjoyment or pleasure. Imagine the idea of sex that doesn’t revolve around, or quite often even involve, your cock. Well that’s just crazy talk!
List your kinks.
The list is very long! But an outline of primary interests would be (alphabetically so they can’t be assumed to be in any preference order:
Ass play – Fucking is quite low on my interest list, doesn’t do much for me. But I love to play with a willing hole, from introducing it to the joys of ass play with just a finger or small dildo and vibrator through to huge toys, stretching and fisting. Whilst I don’t particularly enjoy fucking I do enjoy using a strap on, partly because I can choose a cock to fit the hole perfectly or just to stretch it a little as needed.
Bondage – Restriction, lack of movement, control, vulnerability. There are so many ways to explore bondage too – just a pair of handcuffs / leather cuffs, through to straight jackets, sleep sacks, bondage chairs or even suspension.
Boots – Love boots, my favourite makes are Wesco and Grinders, but also love things like rigger boots cat style boots, biker (have a pair of RST race boots).
CBT – the most precious and sensitive part of a man, and somewhere you can have so much fun playing with them! It’s quite amazing how many love having their balls abused.
Flogging – lots of people thing flogging is all about pain and marking. There is so much more to it! I have a delicious collection of floggers in a variety of hides all giving different experiences and there is so much you can do without the worry of marking the skin, no more than some redness from the warmth of the play that dissipates very quickly. I love flogging as you can go on a real journey from light gentle stroking touch to very heavy intense impact play and lots of places inbetween.
Leather – My biggest fetish, love the look, feel, smell, taste of leather.