Welcome to the blog of Sir Dave where you can find news, appointment availability, new purchases, new ideas and just my thoughts on life work and the world. Oh and maybe the odd photo or collection of photo's I like.
I have some slaves who follow various protocols when they visit. Coming for a session starts off with getting into the right head-space. Leaving the trappings of everyday life behind and allowing yourself to let go and become the sub/slave your heart desires.
For example, one dirty cock hungry slut who visits knows that as soon as the door opens he is to go to the dungeon. Once there change into something slutty showing off his cock and ass, puts clothes and belongings in the cupboard. Then when ready he kneels waiting for me to come in and put a collar on it.
That is a very straight forward protocol to start a session, it works because we have built a relationship over time, we know and understand the limits of what we will do. And after a session or between sessions we discuss them, we explore ideas outside the dungeon. This allows sessions to stay focussed on playing.
I have another service-oriented slave who has a very strict protocol, it has a series of house rules that have been agreed upon. These do not need discussing or reminding, it just knows them. I have had several enquiries about Slave for a Day experiences lately (and the occasional weekend) – for those who crave submission and service rather than sexual play these may be something you connect with.
Clothing and choice of clothing is very personal, it is part of who we are – our clothes are an extension of us. In many cases we also use them to communicate our likes, interests or what sort of tribe we consider ourselves.
Taking away that choice of clothing is a perfect and subtle loss of control. Take a slave out shopping or for coffee and choose their clothing. Push them out of their comfort zone maybe, wear something they wouldn’t choose or wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing in public. Nothing like chaps or kink wear, it is not cool to force kink on others (they cannot consent). But it could be as simple as choosing which t-shirt and trousers they wear.
Take away the clothes and they are very exposed – physically and emotionally. Total loss of power and a display of commitment.
My protocol slave isn’t allowed clothes when in my presence in private (hotel room, dungeon or home etc). Unless it is given explicit instructions I expect it naked at all times. This of course comes with some practical considerations – my responsibility is to ensure slaves wellbeing and if it is naked then I must be aware of its body temperature. If it is cold and shivering, I have failed in my own duties – so naked service comes with a price for me, heating bills!
As soon as it arrives in my home it knows it is to wait for instruction. It will walk in, strip naked and carefully place all its clothes into the storage box waiting. The position it waits for instruction in is determined by what it sees in the hallway. Nothing aside the storage box it stands, hands behind back and waits. A folded rectangular towel on floor it kneels and waits, a square folded towel it sits and waits.
If there is a collar waiting it will assume the appropriate position and hold the collar out ready for me to take it and lock onto its neck. Shackles, it will shackle its wrists and ankles again holding the collar waiting for me to lock it on.
This allows it to focus on what it sees as its purpose – to serve and be of service. BDSM Slavery is different for different people, for some it is being used sexually or for sexual pleasure, for others it is to be objectified, to serve and to make their Master’s life easier. However someone submits, and whatever the nature of the play or service getting into that headspace is so critical.
You may have heard about a new boy on the block … Kinkster App. Lots of people are getting excited about it, me for one. And lots of people are asking why do we need yet another bloody hook up app when we have Recon, Grindr, Scruff, FetLife, Twitter, Growlr, Grommr, Gaydar (is that still a thing?) and plenty other less well known or used sites.
I thought rather then just sharing my signup code I’d help explain why Kinkster is different, why it is needed and why you need to sign up.
For the benefit of the community
One of the biggest differences between Kinkster and pretty much all the other apps is profit.
The team being Kinkster have setup the company as a Community Interest Company and not the traditional Limited company most businesses use. A CIC has to be run as a community or social enterprise – the profits are for the community or to be put back into the organisation to help build it and develop it. Not for the profit or benefit of the shareholders.
So the focus isn’t on becoming rich – it isn’t on making money, by law it has to be on (in this case) connecting a community together and helping that community meet and support each other.
It isn’t actually an app
The name is Kinkster.App – it’s an app to meet like minded guys, girls and those yet to decide. And to build social connections, to chat to people, engage in discussion and find events to attend.
But it isn’t an app … you won’t get it from the Apple App Store or Google Play Store.
It’s a website, a website that does a lot of clever stuff to look and work like an app.
And why is that a good thing?
Take a look at Recon and Scruff – they are getting more and more restricted in what you can show on a photo, Scruff’s latest rules are incredibly restrictive for something based around sex. And that isn’t anything to do with Scruff – that is the choice of Apple. They are getting stricter and stricter with sex related apps and anything hinting at consensual sexual activity. BLUF recently worked tirelessly to get an app approved that was just for event listings. It mentioned fetish so they wouldn’t approve it for distribution via the App store. And if it isn’t on the app store it is practically impossible to your app out to iPhone users.
Recon photos have to be assessed to see if they are App friendly. For android you can get around this by installing an App that hasn’t come via the Play Store, but I do fear it is only a matter of time before Recon disappears from the App stores.
So if it isn’t an app and just a website that means it doesn’t need any corporates approval for you to use it. It just needs to satisfy the laws of the country. And it makes it a lot easier for the developers to roll out fixes, features and updates – because you don’t have to do anything!
And it won’t take up critical storage space on your device.
“But a website only works when online, an app works all the time.” Sure, but if your not online how you going to find shags and chat to people around you? How you going to send a message or read someones feed? Everything about a social connections app needs online access. So an App has no real significant benefit other then making development harder, slower, more expensive for the business behind it while making the stores (ie Apple and Google) money.
It’s not just for kinksters’s
There is a second site called GMeet … if Kinkster is a new Recon, GMeet is a new Grindr. Meet guys who want to fuck, but don’t want all the accessories and dressing up to go with it. And its also for the social side of life – its not just about wanna shag? Both apps are about the social as well as sexual connections we make, sometimes those social also involve gear, sometimes they don’t.
At some point I fully expect Twitter to succumb to the political pressure of being an American Corporate and have to ban any mention of knobs, bums and sex. Unlike tumblr it isn’t predominately porn based, but the business model of traditional advertising companies and sex don’t go together too well.
So GMeet and Kinkster will also have a feed option that you can follow people on, or maybe even a group to meet like minded people. Sounds like twitter, so it offers much more social interaction rather then just messaging,
And the sites lets you manage this through one login – so you don’t need to login to loads of apps. And it also lets you create up to three separate profiles on each site (three on Kinkster and three on GMeet), If you are a big scat perv and know that puts a lot of guys off, create a profile for your pig side and one for your sluttier side maybe and then one for your pup or inner baby. Or for the vanilla site a gaming profile, a cooking one and one for work maybe.
The site also won’t be exclusively gay, LGBT+ or male only. And this has been one of the problems I think sites like FetLife has faced in building its gay membership – a lot of guys don’t want to chat to people they aren’t sexually interested in. So there will be options on either site (Kinkster and GMeet) where you can set who you are visible to in searches etc. You may have a social GMeet profile that is happier to meet quite a wide range of people, but a Kink side that is targeted to only Male or Female partners.
Yes, but do we really need another app?
All the existing ones have their failings, some too restrictive in content, some promote themselves and their own events too much, some only allow certain types of people (some sites even filter by are you good looking or rich enough to be a member).
Kinkster and GMeet are hoping to build a broader spectrum of appeal, that isn’t so restricted by corporate approval policies and that is designed to build connections and community. Not just about sex.
Still not sure? I haven’t seen the app myself yet – just seen what they have posted online and had some discussions with the developers. They are very open to suggestions and ideas on how to make it an amazing platform. But they need to launch it slowly, test it, develop it and see what the community wants. So give feedback and ideas, don’t expect it to be included on launch but if it is a good idea you may see it in a future version.
Claim your name
In closing, it will be worth claiming your name now. Your ID is your address online, so grab it before anyone else does. Even if you don’t want to use it you can make sure no one pretends to be you.
Click the picture above to signup, and let’s see what happens!
Images used with permission.
Not so long ago I had a repeat visitor for a Slave for A Day booking. But this was to be slightly different, to fulfil a fantasy from his younger days when he remembered seeing Skinheads. Their big boots, jeans, braces, Fred Perry shirts and the attitude that went with it.
A city worker more used to shirts and ties then then boots and braces this was to be quite an impressive transformation.
And it all started before he had stepped foot into the Dungeon. If he was to be turned into not just a skinhead, but My skinhead boy he needed bleachers! And to ensure he knew he was mine they would be bleachers I prepared and presented him with. Jeans purchased and prepared. For bleachers I am a big fan of skinny fit jeans like these. Note all pics posted are always with full permission and consent.
He also placed an order with Bleachers & Co for some 14hole Rangers boots, laces, braces, Fred Perry Shirts and Harrington jacket. In addition to a pair of the back-zip jeans. I have purchased gear from them before, but this is the first time I’ve seen their modified jeans and they are as impressive as they look on the site! The zips are hidden away so perfect for wearing in public.
The gear was delivered to here waiting for me to begin his transformation.
Many who visit for the Slave for a Day session book into the Premier Inn hotel at Wolverhampton as they usually aren’t local. Since he was arriving a day earlier an extra preparation session was added on to the evening before his day of service.
The clothes he was wearing when I collected him were all that he had in the hotel … everything else was in his car, so whatever he was wearing when I dropped him off at the hotel was all he had to wear.
Firstly – his cock had to be locked! It is of no use to either of us, so we started off with locking that in a snug pink chastity device. I of course kept the key, but in case of emergency he was given a spare key in a sealed envelope to present when returning to show that he hadn’t removed the device.
Stripped and locked I took all his clothing away … he wouldn’t need them until after the session as complete the following day! If he wanted to be transformed into a skinhead, he would always be one for the duration of his time with me.
The session would of course start with some training, dressing his Skinhead Master, cleaning his boots and lacing them up. And then there was a lot more to come later in the day.
To be continued …
This week I visited an amazing new Dungeon that is perfect for those in London and surrounding areas looking to book a BDSM Dungeon session with myself.
This is a private dungeon available for sessions, and is incredibly well equipped! How well? Well to give you an idea it as all the following items:
And of course a huge collection of bondage cuffs, leather and rubber hoods, gas masks etc. And a very extensive collection of whips, floggers and paddles all by Essentia whips.
I also love the padded isolation cage in the corner too – complete with straps inside to make sure you are save and secure for an intense bondage experience!
With all this amazing kit available, including a Venus milker or even a SeriousKit Milking Machine (by special arrangement) you are guaranteed of an intense and unique experience with so much kit t0 choose from.
So instead of fantasising about it, get in touch and book your session!
Sessions are available here with booking, check out the rates page for details!
The dungeon is just 35minutes from Euston if your in London, which is a lot more convenient then spending an hour travelling across the city.
With January now firmly upon us, many start to think about what they want to do in the new year. So this year lets all try to do something new to expand our interests.
This year I plan on doing some new bars, clubs and events, how about you, why not try somewhere new. That could just be a visit to a new city, a new cafe or new bar or even try a very different event.
There is now only one leather bar left in the UK – Backstreet. If you haven’t been then I cant recommend you go enough, it is an amazing friendly sexy and sleazy space! And best of all – they ban phones! If your in a leather bar you should cruise, talk, touch, taste and enjoy as you wish! You should do it in real life not on apps!
For my taste too many clubs now are just fuck clubs with a dress code, and for many events not very well enforced. I want somewhere to play, somewhere that has the space and furniture to put on a show! And so this year I will be visiting Kinky Consent in Dudley. A mixed club night that sounds fantastic fun! Look out for the write up in a few months time …
When we start out on our leather journey of discovery we don’t really know too much. And after a few years we know a little more, maybe we have found a particular interest – rope bondage, single tail whips, humiliation, ass play, objectification or animal role play.
But how do we learn? Most people just make things up and see how it goes, which for a lot of play is fine but for others very dangerous. For example using the wrong type of candles for wax play can lead to very serious burns.
When you start out do you know the importance of aftercare, of the come down for both the Dom and sub? How about knowing how clean some boots properly, look after your leathers or make your rubber super shiney?
Fortunately we usually find others to help us, play partners, Sirs, boys, pups or just friends. And then there is of course a wealth of knowledge in books and other publications that you can refer to and learn from. There are also some online learning resources like FetLife or Kink Academy we can use.
But nothing beats hands on personal coaching, someone showing you how to do something and to help you get better.
So in 2019 why not find someone to help coach you in an aspect of your play you aren’t that confident with. It could be flogging, rope bondage, asserting your dominance or finding your inner pup.
I’m looking forward to booking some private coaching myself this year. What about you?