Welcome to the Tantric Male blog for Sir Dave!
Check back here for the latest news, appointment availability, new purchases, new ideas and just my thoughts on life work and the world. Oh and maybe the odd photo or collection of photo's I like.
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I am guessing you haven’t heard of the name Enfettered. If you are looking for new furniture for your dungeon, or have some interest in medical play, or just appreciate fucking good quality BDSM gear you really do need to check them out.
I have had the pleasure of visiting Enfettered at their studio just outside Milton Keynes, and it is not until you meet the team and more importantly see the products that you realise they are something very different. To start off with these are products designed by players, experienced players with over 30 years of experience in BDSM.
I have my own dungeon, it has some amazing pieces of kit in it. And finding dungeon furniture that is functional, sexy to look at and sturdy is hard! There aren’t many companies in the world, let alone the UK, that make stuff that fits that brief.
And for me, one of the most important attributes of any furniture is sturdy – like the former PM used to say it has to be strong and stable. I want subs and slaves to feel above all else safe – if the bench or table they are strapped to is wobbling around and they are worried it may collapse I have failed not only as a Dom but a professional.
Above is one of the signature pieces from Enfettered … something I thought looked amazing with the moment I saw it and then fell in with love the moment I touched it. This is their fully-featured version costing £2,795 the series 1 without all the accessories is £1,650 (to which you can add accessories at a later date).
The first thing to notice about this is the size of the box frame for the metalwork – it’s chunky! Approximately twice as large as most other manufacturers, which means two things – firstly strength! This is going to hold the biggest rugby player without any problems. And it’s heavy … with great strength comes great weight. But those four wheels make it the easiest thing to move in your dungeon and once locked that bench is not moving!
When you visit and get up close with Enfettered furniture you will see the attention to detail they have, the back lift on the bench at an angle. In addition to the box frame around the edge of the back it has a centre support too – probably not needed, but that extra support gives you 100% confidence in it.
Some other things to note about the Enfettered range, apart from the fact you may have noticed how much I love them, is the accessory attachments. You can’t see them super clear in this picture, but the side tray, the fucking machine holder etc all have the same size attachment. So you can move things around – and then use them on other furniture too! Or get different attachments later on like a venus/milking attachment holder for example.
The photos here show off some of their other products, and they have added suspension harnesses, silicone restraints and bondage straps (blue in pic above), velcro finished quick release cuffs. The pics above also show the finish of the leatherwork with quilted or stripped stitching in a colour to suit your playspace.
There is one new piece of furniture coming out soon that if you have space for in your dungeon you will definitely want! I know I do … but I just need a bigger dungeon!! Make sure you follow them on twitter to find out what it is!
Check out their website and if you are in the market for dungeon furniture or bondage restraints then I definitely recommend giving them a call and booking in a visit to their showroom dungeon. You won’t be disappointed.
I’m very excited to be attending Brew Hunter’s Mastery at The Backstreet in London, the UK’s only strict dress-code Leather Bar. If you are attending would be great to say hello – but introduce yourself as I have a terrible memory and won’t recognise most people I follow.
I am also taking bookings for subs or slaves looking to serve in London.
If you have always wanted to experience a session with me now is the perfect opportunity! Book early to get the best times available, deposits will be required! Contact me via email or call / WhatsApp 07516 036 105.
This past Christmas I was passed a family recipe … homemade Baileys! I didn’t think it would work, but this stuff really does!! Being a Bourbon fan I have used some Makers Mark here in mine, the measures below do give quite a Bourbon flavour to it, so use Scotch or slightly less alcohol if preferred.
I also use Emlea Single here as that has a slightly better shelf life than regular cream, but that is a personal preference. Once mixed make sure you taste and adjust the mixture to your preference.
If you want to go real retro you can use Camp Coffee instead (reduce to 2tsp and taste).
Happy New Year, I hope 2020 is a great kinky one for you!
Put all the ingredients into a blender, blitz for 30seconds and then pour into sterilised container. Or gym shaker so when working out your “Protein Shake” gives you that bit of an extra kick!
I have some slaves who follow various protocols when they visit. Coming for a session starts off with getting into the right head-space. Leaving the trappings of everyday life behind and allowing yourself to let go and become the sub/slave your heart desires.
For example, one dirty cock hungry slut who visits knows that as soon as the door opens he is to go to the dungeon. Once there change into something slutty showing off his cock and ass, puts clothes and belongings in the cupboard. Then when ready he kneels waiting for me to come in and put a collar on it.
That is a very straight forward protocol to start a session, it works because we have built a relationship over time, we know and understand the limits of what we will do. And after a session or between sessions we discuss them, we explore ideas outside the dungeon. This allows sessions to stay focussed on playing.
I have another service-oriented slave who has a very strict protocol, it has a series of house rules that have been agreed upon. These do not need discussing or reminding, it just knows them. I have had several enquiries about Slave for a Day experiences lately (and the occasional weekend) – for those who crave submission and service rather than sexual play these may be something you connect with.
Clothing and choice of clothing is very personal, it is part of who we are – our clothes are an extension of us. In many cases we also use them to communicate our likes, interests or what sort of tribe we consider ourselves.
Taking away that choice of clothing is a perfect and subtle loss of control. Take a slave out shopping or for coffee and choose their clothing. Push them out of their comfort zone maybe, wear something they wouldn’t choose or wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing in public. Nothing like chaps or kink wear, it is not cool to force kink on others (they cannot consent). But it could be as simple as choosing which t-shirt and trousers they wear.
Take away the clothes and they are very exposed – physically and emotionally. Total loss of power and a display of commitment.
My protocol slave isn’t allowed clothes when in my presence in private (hotel room, dungeon or home etc). Unless it is given explicit instructions I expect it naked at all times. This of course comes with some practical considerations – my responsibility is to ensure slaves wellbeing and if it is naked then I must be aware of its body temperature. If it is cold and shivering, I have failed in my own duties – so naked service comes with a price for me, heating bills!
As soon as it arrives in my home it knows it is to wait for instruction. It will walk in, strip naked and carefully place all its clothes into the storage box waiting. The position it waits for instruction in is determined by what it sees in the hallway. Nothing aside the storage box it stands, hands behind back and waits. A folded rectangular towel on floor it kneels and waits, a square folded towel it sits and waits.
If there is a collar waiting it will assume the appropriate position and hold the collar out ready for me to take it and lock onto its neck. Shackles, it will shackle its wrists and ankles again holding the collar waiting for me to lock it on.
This allows it to focus on what it sees as its purpose – to serve and be of service. BDSM Slavery is different for different people, for some it is being used sexually or for sexual pleasure, for others it is to be objectified, to serve and to make their Master’s life easier. However someone submits, and whatever the nature of the play or service getting into that headspace is so critical.
You may have heard about a new boy on the block … Kinkster App. Lots of people are getting excited about it, me for one. And lots of people are asking why do we need yet another bloody hook up app when we have Recon, Grindr, Scruff, FetLife, Twitter, Growlr, Grommr, Gaydar (is that still a thing?) and plenty other less well known or used sites.
I thought rather then just sharing my signup code I’d help explain why Kinkster is different, why it is needed and why you need to sign up.
For the benefit of the community
One of the biggest differences between Kinkster and pretty much all the other apps is profit.
The team being Kinkster have setup the company as a Community Interest Company and not the traditional Limited company most businesses use. A CIC has to be run as a community or social enterprise – the profits are for the community or to be put back into the organisation to help build it and develop it. Not for the profit or benefit of the shareholders.
So the focus isn’t on becoming rich – it isn’t on making money, by law it has to be on (in this case) connecting a community together and helping that community meet and support each other.
It isn’t actually an app
The name is Kinkster.App – it’s an app to meet like minded guys, girls and those yet to decide. And to build social connections, to chat to people, engage in discussion and find events to attend.
But it isn’t an app … you won’t get it from the Apple App Store or Google Play Store.
It’s a website, a website that does a lot of clever stuff to look and work like an app.
And why is that a good thing?
Take a look at Recon and Scruff – they are getting more and more restricted in what you can show on a photo, Scruff’s latest rules are incredibly restrictive for something based around sex. And that isn’t anything to do with Scruff – that is the choice of Apple. They are getting stricter and stricter with sex related apps and anything hinting at consensual sexual activity. BLUF recently worked tirelessly to get an app approved that was just for event listings. It mentioned fetish so they wouldn’t approve it for distribution via the App store. And if it isn’t on the app store it is practically impossible to your app out to iPhone users.
Recon photos have to be assessed to see if they are App friendly. For android you can get around this by installing an App that hasn’t come via the Play Store, but I do fear it is only a matter of time before Recon disappears from the App stores.
So if it isn’t an app and just a website that means it doesn’t need any corporates approval for you to use it. It just needs to satisfy the laws of the country. And it makes it a lot easier for the developers to roll out fixes, features and updates – because you don’t have to do anything!
And it won’t take up critical storage space on your device.
“But a website only works when online, an app works all the time.” Sure, but if your not online how you going to find shags and chat to people around you? How you going to send a message or read someones feed? Everything about a social connections app needs online access. So an App has no real significant benefit other then making development harder, slower, more expensive for the business behind it while making the stores (ie Apple and Google) money.
It’s not just for kinksters’s
There is a second site called GMeet … if Kinkster is a new Recon, GMeet is a new Grindr. Meet guys who want to fuck, but don’t want all the accessories and dressing up to go with it. And its also for the social side of life – its not just about wanna shag? Both apps are about the social as well as sexual connections we make, sometimes those social also involve gear, sometimes they don’t.
At some point I fully expect Twitter to succumb to the political pressure of being an American Corporate and have to ban any mention of knobs, bums and sex. Unlike tumblr it isn’t predominately porn based, but the business model of traditional advertising companies and sex don’t go together too well.
So GMeet and Kinkster will also have a feed option that you can follow people on, or maybe even a group to meet like minded people. Sounds like twitter, so it offers much more social interaction rather then just messaging,
And the sites lets you manage this through one login – so you don’t need to login to loads of apps. And it also lets you create up to three separate profiles on each site (three on Kinkster and three on GMeet), If you are a big scat perv and know that puts a lot of guys off, create a profile for your pig side and one for your sluttier side maybe and then one for your pup or inner baby. Or for the vanilla site a gaming profile, a cooking one and one for work maybe.
The site also won’t be exclusively gay, LGBT+ or male only. And this has been one of the problems I think sites like FetLife has faced in building its gay membership – a lot of guys don’t want to chat to people they aren’t sexually interested in. So there will be options on either site (Kinkster and GMeet) where you can set who you are visible to in searches etc. You may have a social GMeet profile that is happier to meet quite a wide range of people, but a Kink side that is targeted to only Male or Female partners.
Yes, but do we really need another app?
All the existing ones have their failings, some too restrictive in content, some promote themselves and their own events too much, some only allow certain types of people (some sites even filter by are you good looking or rich enough to be a member).
Kinkster and GMeet are hoping to build a broader spectrum of appeal, that isn’t so restricted by corporate approval policies and that is designed to build connections and community. Not just about sex.
Still not sure? I haven’t seen the app myself yet – just seen what they have posted online and had some discussions with the developers. They are very open to suggestions and ideas on how to make it an amazing platform. But they need to launch it slowly, test it, develop it and see what the community wants. So give feedback and ideas, don’t expect it to be included on launch but if it is a good idea you may see it in a future version.
Claim your name
In closing, it will be worth claiming your name now. Your ID is your address online, so grab it before anyone else does. Even if you don’t want to use it you can make sure no one pretends to be you.
Click the picture above to signup, and let’s see what happens!
Images used with permission.