Welcome to the Tantric Male blog for Sir Dave!
Check back here for the latest news, appointment availability, new purchases, new ideas and just my thoughts on life work and the world. Oh and maybe the odd photo or collection of photo's I like.
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You may have heard about a new boy on the block … Kinkster App. Lots of people are getting excited about it, me for one. And lots of people are asking why do we need yet another bloody hook up app when we have Recon, Grindr, Scruff, FetLife, Twitter, Growlr, Grommr, Gaydar (is that still a thing?) and plenty other less well known or used sites.
I thought rather then just sharing my signup code I’d help explain why Kinkster is different, why it is needed and why you need to sign up.
For the benefit of the community
One of the biggest differences between Kinkster and pretty much all the other apps is profit.
The team being Kinkster have setup the company as a Community Interest Company and not the traditional Limited company most businesses use. A CIC has to be run as a community or social enterprise – the profits are for the community or to be put back into the organisation to help build it and develop it. Not for the profit or benefit of the shareholders.
So the focus isn’t on becoming rich – it isn’t on making money, by law it has to be on (in this case) connecting a community together and helping that community meet and support each other.
It isn’t actually an app
The name is Kinkster.App – it’s an app to meet like minded guys, girls and those yet to decide. And to build social connections, to chat to people, engage in discussion and find events to attend.
But it isn’t an app … you won’t get it from the Apple App Store or Google Play Store.
It’s a website, a website that does a lot of clever stuff to look and work like an app.
And why is that a good thing?
Take a look at Recon and Scruff – they are getting more and more restricted in what you can show on a photo, Scruff’s latest rules are incredibly restrictive for something based around sex. And that isn’t anything to do with Scruff – that is the choice of Apple. They are getting stricter and stricter with sex related apps and anything hinting at consensual sexual activity. BLUF recently worked tirelessly to get an app approved that was just for event listings. It mentioned fetish so they wouldn’t approve it for distribution via the App store. And if it isn’t on the app store it is practically impossible to your app out to iPhone users.
Recon photos have to be assessed to see if they are App friendly. For android you can get around this by installing an App that hasn’t come via the Play Store, but I do fear it is only a matter of time before Recon disappears from the App stores.
So if it isn’t an app and just a website that means it doesn’t need any corporates approval for you to use it. It just needs to satisfy the laws of the country. And it makes it a lot easier for the developers to roll out fixes, features and updates – because you don’t have to do anything!
And it won’t take up critical storage space on your device.
“But a website only works when online, an app works all the time.” Sure, but if your not online how you going to find shags and chat to people around you? How you going to send a message or read someones feed? Everything about a social connections app needs online access. So an App has no real significant benefit other then making development harder, slower, more expensive for the business behind it while making the stores (ie Apple and Google) money.
It’s not just for kinksters’s
There is a second site called GMeet … if Kinkster is a new Recon, GMeet is a new Grindr. Meet guys who want to fuck, but don’t want all the accessories and dressing up to go with it. And its also for the social side of life – its not just about wanna shag? Both apps are about the social as well as sexual connections we make, sometimes those social also involve gear, sometimes they don’t.
At some point I fully expect Twitter to succumb to the political pressure of being an American Corporate and have to ban any mention of knobs, bums and sex. Unlike tumblr it isn’t predominately porn based, but the business model of traditional advertising companies and sex don’t go together too well.
So GMeet and Kinkster will also have a feed option that you can follow people on, or maybe even a group to meet like minded people. Sounds like twitter, so it offers much more social interaction rather then just messaging,
And the sites lets you manage this through one login – so you don’t need to login to loads of apps. And it also lets you create up to three separate profiles on each site (three on Kinkster and three on GMeet), If you are a big scat perv and know that puts a lot of guys off, create a profile for your pig side and one for your sluttier side maybe and then one for your pup or inner baby. Or for the vanilla site a gaming profile, a cooking one and one for work maybe.
The site also won’t be exclusively gay, LGBT+ or male only. And this has been one of the problems I think sites like FetLife has faced in building its gay membership – a lot of guys don’t want to chat to people they aren’t sexually interested in. So there will be options on either site (Kinkster and GMeet) where you can set who you are visible to in searches etc. You may have a social GMeet profile that is happier to meet quite a wide range of people, but a Kink side that is targeted to only Male or Female partners.
Yes, but do we really need another app?
All the existing ones have their failings, some too restrictive in content, some promote themselves and their own events too much, some only allow certain types of people (some sites even filter by are you good looking or rich enough to be a member).
Kinkster and GMeet are hoping to build a broader spectrum of appeal, that isn’t so restricted by corporate approval policies and that is designed to build connections and community. Not just about sex.
Still not sure? I haven’t seen the app myself yet – just seen what they have posted online and had some discussions with the developers. They are very open to suggestions and ideas on how to make it an amazing platform. But they need to launch it slowly, test it, develop it and see what the community wants. So give feedback and ideas, don’t expect it to be included on launch but if it is a good idea you may see it in a future version.
Claim your name
In closing, it will be worth claiming your name now. Your ID is your address online, so grab it before anyone else does. Even if you don’t want to use it you can make sure no one pretends to be you.
Click the picture above to signup, and let’s see what happens!
Images used with permission.
Not so long ago I had a repeat visitor for a Slave for A Day booking. But this was to be slightly different, to fulfil a fantasy from his younger days when he remembered seeing Skinheads. Their big boots, jeans, braces, Fred Perry shirts and the attitude that went with it.
A city worker more used to shirts and ties then then boots and braces this was to be quite an impressive transformation.
And it all started before he had stepped foot into the Dungeon. If he was to be turned into not just a skinhead, but My skinhead boy he needed bleachers! And to ensure he knew he was mine they would be bleachers I prepared and presented him with. Jeans purchased and prepared. For bleachers I am a big fan of skinny fit jeans like these. Note all pics posted are always with full permission and consent.
He also placed an order with Bleachers & Co for some 14hole Rangers boots, laces, braces, Fred Perry Shirts and Harrington jacket. In addition to a pair of the back-zip jeans. I have purchased gear from them before, but this is the first time I’ve seen their modified jeans and they are as impressive as they look on the site! The zips are hidden away so perfect for wearing in public.
The gear was delivered to here waiting for me to begin his transformation.
Many who visit for the Slave for a Day session book into the Premier Inn hotel at Wolverhampton as they usually aren’t local. Since he was arriving a day earlier an extra preparation session was added on to the evening before his day of service.
The clothes he was wearing when I collected him were all that he had in the hotel … everything else was in his car, so whatever he was wearing when I dropped him off at the hotel was all he had to wear.
Firstly – his cock had to be locked! It is of no use to either of us, so we started off with locking that in a snug pink chastity device. I of course kept the key, but in case of emergency he was given a spare key in a sealed envelope to present when returning to show that he hadn’t removed the device.
Stripped and locked I took all his clothing away … he wouldn’t need them until after the session as complete the following day! If he wanted to be transformed into a skinhead, he would always be one for the duration of his time with me.
The session would of course start with some training, dressing his Skinhead Master, cleaning his boots and lacing them up. And then there was a lot more to come later in the day.
To be continued …
This week I visited an amazing new Dungeon that is perfect for those in London and surrounding areas looking to book a BDSM Dungeon session with myself.
This is a private dungeon available for sessions, and is incredibly well equipped! How well? Well to give you an idea it as all the following items:
And of course a huge collection of bondage cuffs, leather and rubber hoods, gas masks etc. And a very extensive collection of whips, floggers and paddles all by Essentia whips.
I also love the padded isolation cage in the corner too – complete with straps inside to make sure you are save and secure for an intense bondage experience!
With all this amazing kit available, including a Venus milker or even a SeriousKit Milking Machine (by special arrangement) you are guaranteed of an intense and unique experience with so much kit t0 choose from.
So instead of fantasising about it, get in touch and book your session!
Sessions are available here with booking, check out the rates page for details!
The dungeon is just 35minutes from Euston if your in London, which is a lot more convenient then spending an hour travelling across the city.
With January now firmly upon us, many start to think about what they want to do in the new year. So this year lets all try to do something new to expand our interests.
This year I plan on doing some new bars, clubs and events, how about you, why not try somewhere new. That could just be a visit to a new city, a new cafe or new bar or even try a very different event.
There is now only one leather bar left in the UK – Backstreet. If you haven’t been then I cant recommend you go enough, it is an amazing friendly sexy and sleazy space! And best of all – they ban phones! If your in a leather bar you should cruise, talk, touch, taste and enjoy as you wish! You should do it in real life not on apps!
For my taste too many clubs now are just fuck clubs with a dress code, and for many events not very well enforced. I want somewhere to play, somewhere that has the space and furniture to put on a show! And so this year I will be visiting Kinky Consent in Dudley. A mixed club night that sounds fantastic fun! Look out for the write up in a few months time …
When we start out on our leather journey of discovery we don’t really know too much. And after a few years we know a little more, maybe we have found a particular interest – rope bondage, single tail whips, humiliation, ass play, objectification or animal role play.
But how do we learn? Most people just make things up and see how it goes, which for a lot of play is fine but for others very dangerous. For example using the wrong type of candles for wax play can lead to very serious burns.
When you start out do you know the importance of aftercare, of the come down for both the Dom and sub? How about knowing how clean some boots properly, look after your leathers or make your rubber super shiney?
Fortunately we usually find others to help us, play partners, Sirs, boys, pups or just friends. And then there is of course a wealth of knowledge in books and other publications that you can refer to and learn from. There are also some online learning resources like FetLife or Kink Academy we can use.
But nothing beats hands on personal coaching, someone showing you how to do something and to help you get better.
So in 2019 why not find someone to help coach you in an aspect of your play you aren’t that confident with. It could be flogging, rope bondage, asserting your dominance or finding your inner pup.
I’m looking forward to booking some private coaching myself this year. What about you?
2018 was a blast, but 2019 is going to be amazing!
Last year we waved goodbye to Tumblr, and this year most people are saying hello to BDSMLR the new home of kink, leather and bondage porn! But one of the best starts to the new year has been my Twitter thread where I asked what was the first TV programme or film that got you interested in kink. There have been some great responses including Darth Vader, Flash Gordon, Rugby games, Terminator to mention a few.
And a few references to one of my early favourite scenes – Bring Out the Gimp in Pulp Fiction. Heart pounding dick throbbing in the cinema!! Another was a film that was on TV, I don’t remember much about it and certainly not the name … but I do clearly remember a guy being handcuffed to a bed and tormented. And then going on the run from his everyday life with the handcuffs locked onto one wrist as a reminder he wasn’t a free man.
Those early memories that sometimes surprise you … a desire or even need to explore and do something you never expected! Going from thinking about it, wanking about the fantasy is something we have all done. But the thought of making that fantasy a reality is something very different and a whole lot more scary.
And that is what I love to do … to help your fantasy become a reality, something you can look back on and enjoy! I had a lovely elderly gentleman visit who told me that he wanted to be able to lie on his deathbed and think back on all the amazing experiences he had enjoyed. Even if he couldn’t share them with anyone, he could enjoy those amazing memories.
This year I will continue to build my dungeon collection, starting in the next few days with new seated suspension to complete my suspension offerings. I’m really looking forward to trying it out – will be perfect to use with the Venus milking machine!
If you are a big fan of really restrictive bondage how would a rubber vac-rac appeal? That is on the list to add in 2019.
I don’t just help start people on their Kink journeys, I also help people out with a Try Before You Buy idea. Do you want to spend over £1,000 on a milking machine never having experienced it … book in for an hour to find out how good it is first!
So whatever your interest, your fantasy, the scene that got you excited to explore perversions and kink I love to hear about them all. And if you would like to try something out then please get in touch!