Welcome to the Tantric Male blog for Sir Dave!
Check back here for the latest news, appointment availability, new purchases, new ideas and just my thoughts on life work and the world. Oh and maybe the odd photo or collection of photo's I like.
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I’m very excited to be attending Brew Hunter’s Mastery at The Backstreet in London, the UK’s only strict dress-code Leather Bar. If you are attending would be great to say hello – but introduce yourself as I have a terrible memory and won’t recognise most people I follow.
I am also taking bookings for subs or slaves looking to serve in London.
If you have always wanted to experience a session with me now is the perfect opportunity! Book early to get the best times available, deposits will be required! Contact me via email or call / WhatsApp 07516 036 105.
I have some slaves who follow various protocols when they visit. Coming for a session starts off with getting into the right head-space. Leaving the trappings of everyday life behind and allowing yourself to let go and become the sub/slave your heart desires.
For example, one dirty cock hungry slut who visits knows that as soon as the door opens he is to go to the dungeon. Once there change into something slutty showing off his cock and ass, puts clothes and belongings in the cupboard. Then when ready he kneels waiting for me to come in and put a collar on it.
That is a very straight forward protocol to start a session, it works because we have built a relationship over time, we know and understand the limits of what we will do. And after a session or between sessions we discuss them, we explore ideas outside the dungeon. This allows sessions to stay focussed on playing.
I have another service-oriented slave who has a very strict protocol, it has a series of house rules that have been agreed upon. These do not need discussing or reminding, it just knows them. I have had several enquiries about Slave for a Day experiences lately (and the occasional weekend) – for those who crave submission and service rather than sexual play these may be something you connect with.
Clothing and choice of clothing is very personal, it is part of who we are – our clothes are an extension of us. In many cases we also use them to communicate our likes, interests or what sort of tribe we consider ourselves.
Taking away that choice of clothing is a perfect and subtle loss of control. Take a slave out shopping or for coffee and choose their clothing. Push them out of their comfort zone maybe, wear something they wouldn’t choose or wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing in public. Nothing like chaps or kink wear, it is not cool to force kink on others (they cannot consent). But it could be as simple as choosing which t-shirt and trousers they wear.
Take away the clothes and they are very exposed – physically and emotionally. Total loss of power and a display of commitment.
My protocol slave isn’t allowed clothes when in my presence in private (hotel room, dungeon or home etc). Unless it is given explicit instructions I expect it naked at all times. This of course comes with some practical considerations – my responsibility is to ensure slaves wellbeing and if it is naked then I must be aware of its body temperature. If it is cold and shivering, I have failed in my own duties – so naked service comes with a price for me, heating bills!
As soon as it arrives in my home it knows it is to wait for instruction. It will walk in, strip naked and carefully place all its clothes into the storage box waiting. The position it waits for instruction in is determined by what it sees in the hallway. Nothing aside the storage box it stands, hands behind back and waits. A folded rectangular towel on floor it kneels and waits, a square folded towel it sits and waits.
If there is a collar waiting it will assume the appropriate position and hold the collar out ready for me to take it and lock onto its neck. Shackles, it will shackle its wrists and ankles again holding the collar waiting for me to lock it on.
This allows it to focus on what it sees as its purpose – to serve and be of service. BDSM Slavery is different for different people, for some it is being used sexually or for sexual pleasure, for others it is to be objectified, to serve and to make their Master’s life easier. However someone submits, and whatever the nature of the play or service getting into that headspace is so critical.
This year I returned to Folsom!
But not Berlin, which is what most people in the UK think of when I mention Folsom. I returned to the original San Francisco Folsom Street Fair, my 4th visit to this iconic event. The worlds largest leather/kink event attracting around 250,000 visitors (for reference that is ten times larger then Folsom Europe).
I’ve never done Folsom East or Folsom Berlin so cannot compare the events, but I know a lot of my European friends have never done Folsom, so I will give you my guide on what to expect and what is there.
Folsom is very much a mixed event – different kinks, fetishes, fashions, gear, sexes, genders all on display! And that for me is what makes it so great – the huge spectrum of people who attend.
And with that many people attending it needs a lot of space – 13 city blocks near the centre of SF! People say it gets busy … really busy, but I think first-timers can often underestimate just how rammed it can be. By the time I left mid-afternoon the queues to get in were stretching over two blocks! Some of the popular areas of the fair were packed, if you don’t like crowds definitely get in early!
There is no ‘ticket fee’ for entering the fair, just a requested donation. If you donate and get a sticker to wear your drinks are $2 cheaper! The suggested donation on entry is $10 – $15, and to make life easier the volunteers accept cash or debit/credit card.
Folsom Street Fair Events (the organisation behind it all) in 2018 donated over $250,000 to its beneficiaries, has so far raised over $7 million since it started in 1984.
Throughout the event, there are places to get drinks at three types of bars – beer, cocktails or soft drinks. Whatever your beverage preference you can find something to enjoy, and by buying drinks you are also helping to raise further funds to support local organisations! Charitable organisations (referred to as a 501(c)3 organisation in USA) can apply to become a Beverage Partner for the event. If successful the organisation provides volunteers to staff and run a bar, and in return, their organisation receives financial support from Folsom. When you buy a pint you could be helping a local HIV charity or Rugby club for example.
In addition to the bars, there are 7 huge water towers around the site to fill up your own water bottle (free of charge), and there is also a Sunscreen Station to get and apply plenty of sunscreen – though I suspect an optional fee to have applied by a porn actor would have been another a good fundraiser.
Folsom is mostly a social event – show off your gear, get to see hot guys and girls in gear. To see some amazing demo’s – bondage, flogging etc all on display. There is more going on of course – companies selling awesome kit and gear, community organisations promoting their services. Companies you may have heard of, stands include Tykables, Grindr, Recon, Bad Dragon, Mr S Leather, Sheets of San Francisco, Boy Butter, KinkBnB, Nasty Kink Pigs and so many others!
There is a dance arena but that doesn’t interest me at all, so never ventured down into it, but it is there for those who want it. And then as modern events do now they have a ‘Main Stage’ area. It is mostly live bands, some sash queens on parade and hosts introducing everyone and keeping the crowds entertained.
I always advise people to arrive at 11 am, as I say it gets busy! And if you want to do any shopping on the stalls, play with the pups, meet some porn actors etc you need to do this before it gets crowded! This year the temperature was a little lower than previous years, I’d say around 20 – 25 oC. I was in full leathers – so very much a good thing for me! Previous years it has been mid/high 30’s! Which is really far too hot for fetish gear – but good for those who like to wear just jocks or get their cocks out (watch out for that sunburn!)
As any Leather event should have – the Bootblacks have a stand. There is a $10 fee (donation to a local charity) to book a slot and then recommended tips for the bootblacks. Because the service can take a while, and many don’t want to queue for an age they have a great ticket system. You pay your $10 donation and are given a numbered ticket, you can either wait to be called or go off around the fair and come back. Whenever a chair is free they call out for the lowest number, so if you go to the stand early in the day and head back a few hours later you are pretty much guaranteed to be sat next.
While my jeans need a decent deep clean and condition I opted to have my boots done, Unicorn boy (u.b.) did an awesome job – and good luck with the SF Bootblack 2020 contest!
There has been much made of recently about Pride events being “family-friendly” events, and even some trying to ban Fetish gear. Folsom is very much not a family event – and nor should it be! It is an event based around fetish and sex.
The nature of the event you are going to get a lot of non-kink people who want to go and see the perverts and players. It may not be quite as debauched as it used to be, but you could still piss on people in a paddling pool, see countless guys with dicks out jerking off, see guys drinking piss directly from the source or in one video going around twitter one guy over the shoulder of another getting fisted.
Any event like this you cannot go and be surprised if your photo ends up on the Internet somewhere. On the way in they have huge signs about consent which was good to see. And we saw some excellent examples of people both following and ignoring these. For example a well endowed young lad (about late 20’s) was asked if he could have his photo taken by someone, he agreed and posed. Photographer then decided that consent meant he could grab hold of the guy’s hard dick – he was very quickly and directly corrected on that! The lad handled the situation really well, and was great to see him have the confidence to do that. Whilst gear, nudity or attendance does not give consent it is a sad fact that you must also be prepared to deal with people who don’t understand that.
And this consent issue is why I haven’t been able to share many photos from the event – it would be so hypocritical of me to do so. Be like the photo of the old dear watching the Pope go past – don’t enjoy the whole event through a lens.
Not so long ago I had a repeat visitor for a Slave for A Day booking. But this was to be slightly different, to fulfil a fantasy from his younger days when he remembered seeing Skinheads. Their big boots, jeans, braces, Fred Perry shirts and the attitude that went with it.
A city worker more used to shirts and ties then then boots and braces this was to be quite an impressive transformation.
And it all started before he had stepped foot into the Dungeon. If he was to be turned into not just a skinhead, but My skinhead boy he needed bleachers! And to ensure he knew he was mine they would be bleachers I prepared and presented him with. Jeans purchased and prepared. For bleachers I am a big fan of skinny fit jeans like these. Note all pics posted are always with full permission and consent.
He also placed an order with Bleachers & Co for some 14hole Rangers boots, laces, braces, Fred Perry Shirts and Harrington jacket. In addition to a pair of the back-zip jeans. I have purchased gear from them before, but this is the first time I’ve seen their modified jeans and they are as impressive as they look on the site! The zips are hidden away so perfect for wearing in public.
The gear was delivered to here waiting for me to begin his transformation.
Many who visit for the Slave for a Day session book into the Premier Inn hotel at Wolverhampton as they usually aren’t local. Since he was arriving a day earlier an extra preparation session was added on to the evening before his day of service.
The clothes he was wearing when I collected him were all that he had in the hotel … everything else was in his car, so whatever he was wearing when I dropped him off at the hotel was all he had to wear.
Firstly – his cock had to be locked! It is of no use to either of us, so we started off with locking that in a snug pink chastity device. I of course kept the key, but in case of emergency he was given a spare key in a sealed envelope to present when returning to show that he hadn’t removed the device.
Stripped and locked I took all his clothing away … he wouldn’t need them until after the session as complete the following day! If he wanted to be transformed into a skinhead, he would always be one for the duration of his time with me.
The session would of course start with some training, dressing his Skinhead Master, cleaning his boots and lacing them up. And then there was a lot more to come later in the day.
To be continued …
For a long time I’ve been looking for a kinky fetishy bdsmy club night of pervery that is local.
I will admit I’ve never been a big one for most clubs, the exception to the rule has always been Backstreet. Most gay fetish events don’t interest me because most just seem to be mostly a sex club with crap dress code. If that is your thing that’s fine, for me I want to socialise, be able to have a conversation without lip reading and just nodding and saying “yeah” because I have no idea what you said, and if the mood was to take me … some play! Also respect for basic protocols – collars actually have a lot of meaning!
Now that rant is over, lets get back to the subject. Summer last year I found Kinky Consent on Twitter and something about it appealed. Unfortunately, my diary and the monthly event never matched up and I missed quite a few events. And there have been some amazing sounding nights – the Sissy Pageant sounded a real highlight!
Last year I put the February’s event in my diary as the weekend to loose my KC virginity! I made a note to make sure that I didn’t miss it!!
The night is held at the Klub Kink in Dudley – so super local to me (just 20 mins away). And I must compliment the club for the extensive drinks collection, unfortunately I couldn’t partake in too much as I was driving (I definitely need a slave chauffer next time). The most surprising thing about the venue was the price of the drinks … very reasonable! A Williams Chase G&T was just £4.00! And the most popular thing at the bar seemed to be the Pork Scratchings! And damn tasty they were too.
I was stepping a little outside my comfort zones, going to an event for the first time alone – not knowing anyone who would be there. My social anxiety can go sky high so I find it quite difficult to engage in conversation with people.
In the week I sent Mistress L (one of the organisers) a message to say I’ll be coming along, and received the most enthusiastic welcome and introduction to others in attendance.
The night is usually help over two floors of the club – with a large roomy bar with plenty of seating, a dungeon with variety of kit in it, and upstairs a host of fun spaces! Glory holes, private rooms, orgy room to name a few. And there is also a dungeon area downstairs behind the bar.
The night was a quiet one for attendance, a few regulars and distinguished guests were ill or unable to attend for a variety of reasons. But that didn’t stop the fun! It was a friendly welcoming crowd, not to mention incredibly sexy.
The hosts will make sure you are made to feel welcome, the Mistresses, subs, boys, Masters and others who go provide a great mix of interests and people. If you listen to Secret 102 Radio you will be sure to bump into a host or one of the regular presenters.
KC events also come with some organised fun each month, and this month was the enticing sounding “Last Slave Standing”. Quite simple, a host of impact implements from soft and lovely to very spikey and fuck-me ouchy! The rules where simple … start off with two whacks / strokes with the implement chosen at random by means of a raffle ticket. Then each round it doubled until there was just one slave standing.
The resident Dommes took turns in giving the thrashings, and I was able to enjoy the show sat that the bar with a drink and packet of Pork Scratchings.
I was impressed with all of them!!! I’m sure they were equally proud of their rewards (ie bruises) in the days that followed.
I was also asked to draw the raffle ticket for the prize draw … and genuinely without any cheating or influence I picked my own bloody ticket!! And then because they are such lovely people they let me keep my price – an amazing Crotch Rocket strapon harness and dildo Locked In Lust! The harness and dildo are an amazing combination and have been well used with several slaves since! A full review and pictures will be coming very shortly.
Unfortunately, I have to miss a few more KC nights until I can go again … damn diary conflicts. But I will be back and have made a note in my diary for all the events until the rest of the year so that I can hopefully make this a more regular thing.
So if you are looking for a friendly sociable play night I strongly recommend you get yourself over to Dudley. The next event is April 13th – check out their website for details.
I can’t make April’s, but I’m doing my best to get to May’s 1st Birthday Extravaganza!