Welcome to the Tantric Male blog for Sir Dave!
Check back here for the latest news, appointment availability, new purchases, new ideas and just my thoughts on life work and the world. Oh and maybe the odd photo or collection of photo's I like.
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Day 18: Any kinky/BDSM pet peeves? If so, what are they?
Two words … “no limits”.
The amount of times I have seen or read this, people who really don’t understand the difference between fantasy and reality. When going through play negotiation when asked what are they into / would they like the worst answers can also include:
When people say any of the above I ask about a hard caning – one that may leave marks, or how about some needle play, fisting, toilet use? How about sissyfication and putting you in a lovely frilly dress and nappy? How about a branding scene?
Day 16: What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?
There is always going to be a stigma associated with BDSM / kink play or what some may refer to as minority / alternative sexual interests. I’ve been called a deviant before now … I see that as a compliment.
People have preconceptions about sex and sexuality they don’t understand. And they can be very close minded to other people’s interests, and this applies to those both inside and outside the kink community. Sometimes those judgemental attitudes are worst from within our own community which makes me feel sad. Just because you don’t share someone else’s fetish or kink that is ok!
Thankyou Manchester for not just a Big Weekend, but an amazing weekend! And thankyou to all my friends who were a part of it and made it so special. I last went to Manchester Pride a three or four years ago, and had quite a mixed experience of it. But was determined to make the best of it this year … it’s all in the planning.
I have quite a love / hate relationship with pride – indeed a good friend on twitter replied to a comment saying “you sound like a crotchety old man”, which is about right. I don’t really like hugely crowded places, queuing to get in a bar, or the fact that you can apparently only celebrate pride with music turned up to 11. I do enjoy a good bar with a drag DJ taking the piss out of everyone, but most of the time I’d prefer an old man boozer.
What are your views on the ethics of kink?
This question I, and it appears others, struggled with – in what context are they asking question. Kink in terms of a lifestyle choice and the general morality of kinky action, or the ethics by which we play?
There are those who see sex as purely for the procreation of a species, they either don’t understand or believe it can be an activity that people can participate in for the simple reason of enjoyment or pleasure. Imagine the idea of sex that doesn’t revolve around, or quite often even involve, your cock. Well that’s just crazy talk!
What are your hard limits?
Bareback / unsafe sex – is a fuck really worth it? Get a condom that is the right size for your dick and go for it! Though I must admit I’m not a big fan of fucking, I kinda get bored after a while – though using a strap on to fuck I really enjoy! Partly because I get so much more control over the experience – what size and shape dildo I use.
But back to bareback sex, the risk and consequences of STI’s are too great for me. I’d rather avoid a life of pills and blood tests if I can.