Welcome to the blog of Sir Dave where you can find news, appointment availability, new purchases, new ideas and just my thoughts on life work and the world. Oh and maybe the odd photo or collection of photo's I like.
Over the recent weeks, I have received several messages and calls from people asking if I would be happy seeing them because they don’t feel they have the right look, body shape or size. Or that their fantasy is too “odd” or “unusual”.
I’m Sir Dave and like to think of myself as a Professional Kink and Fetish Enabler. For me a really important part of what I do is making sure everyone feels welcome, everyone feels sexy, and everyone gets to enjoy their kink, fantasy or fetish.
Whatever it is.
No judgement, no criticism, no “oh my god really?!” Just a space to indulge your interests and enjoy some fun together.
So I wanted to touch on a few specifics to help you feel comfortable in opening a conversation with me. First of all, let’s talk about bodies. I have said before many times I have no hang-ups about people’s bodies shapes or sizes. Porn and social media generally show the stereotype of a good looking body.
And if we don’t fit into that mould we can be made to feel we aren’t desirable or that we aren’t welcome in the club so to speak. Well, I am here to say you are most definitely welcome in the club!
One question I get is about age … and I can assure you that you are never too old. One of my oldest clients was disappointed he couldn’t come for a spanking on his birthday to celebrate his 80th! But he did get a good 80 whacks a few days later!
I do have one age limit though – you must be over 18 to come for a session. If I don’t think you are, or you look like an incredibly young thirty-year old I may ask for ID. Please don’t get offended – I am just ensuring everyone is safe, and that I am completely happy we are both consenting adults.
So age isn’t an issue, what about body sizes. This is probably the biggest barrier for so many, body confidence. Too thin, too fat, don’t have muscles, don’t have a six-pack, don’t have the right amount of body hair – too smooth, too hairy.
I don’t have a six-pack and I have a belly. But I quite like one. I also like cake and red wine – so it is fortunate I enjoy a bit of fat!
Some people are bigger, they look at a biscuit and feel like they gain half a kilo! But sometimes people are really thin, and their body type and metabolism mean they can’t ‘bulk up’ … they don’t gain weight or muscle no matter how much they want to.
We all have different bodies, and they are all amazing and sexy to me! I have had clients who are too thin for some of my restraints on the smallest hole, I’ve had clients that my arms won’t reach around when I give them a hug.
You have a body, and I am not going to judge you by it, I’m just going to make you feel sexy and enjoy discovering your erogenous zones and how I can have fun with you. So never feel that because you don’t look like a Tom of Finland character, or a Love Island cast member you aren’t welcome in my dungeon. All bodies are!
And hopefully, I can help give you a bit of body confidence to take away with you. And this also applies to gender identities. I have cis-male, cis-female, trans-male and trans-female clients. And if you have a particular pronoun you wish to be known by just let me know.
I had one client for whom I was one of the first people he saw and talked to as part of his transition journey, I don’t think anyone else knew at the time. The emotional release and acceptance he had of being referred to as my ‘boy’ was huge for him. It gave him confidence in his own identity – and it was truly an honour to be apart of that.
I guess what I am trying to say, it isn’t about how you look that matters to me. It is about how you feel and how I can make you feel that is most important. But what about experience – why would I want to see someone who hasn’t done anything kinky. That doesn’t matter – I want to help you enjoy your kinks. I love introducing people to the joys of BDSM and fetish!
And if you are experienced but don’t like pain, anal, boot worship, “Yes Sir No Sir” roleplay, or bondage that is fine. If blindfolds freak you out that is not a problem – just let me know. Or maybe you enjoy something like ass play, but worry you can’t take a massive dildo like everyone else on Twitter seems to do now. Don’t worry … we go to your level, your interests and your limits.
Fuck what everyone else says you should do. It isn’t their session – it is yours! So don’t feel any expectation to have to do something you don’t enjoy.
What if you feel your kink or fetish is too “odd” or “unusual” that you can’t tell anyone for fear of being ridiculed?
I am the person you can tell your fantasy to, I am the person who can help you explore it. You will not be judged or criticised – sexuality is an amazing thing! We all have those things that turn us on like nothing else, we can’t explain why we just know they make our dicks twitch.
So come and enjoy them! Our fetishes and fantasies are deeply personal, and there is always a fear of shame when we share them with someone else. I will never shame you, or make you feel that your fantasy is wrong. It is what turns you on, and I want to help you explore that. And most importantly I won’t share anything about it with others! It is between you and me and has nothing to do with the rest of the world.
I have had sessions where we have done some amazingly fun and unique things – some that many definitely thought too freaky to share with anyone else. People who have waited soo long to do something or have it done to them – the moment they get the permission to do it, and know it’s fine is magical! Of course, sometimes we can’t make a fantasy happen.
I can do many things .. but I don’t have WonkaVision for example to make you 10cm tall to indulge in your Land of the Giants fantasy. But! I can help you enjoy that fantasy through roleplay, chat, sex talk or other means.
Having a wank to some porn or erotica is horny, but add someone to talk you through it to make the fantasy together can lead to mind-blowing orgasms!
So, to finish please remember whatever your body or secret sexual fantasy. I can be the person to make it happen for you.
Safe, discreet, confidential!
Don’t just wank over it, make it happen!