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Many people start January with resolutions that last about a week, but some do use the new year as an opportunity / excuse to try new things. Or to think to yourself this year you are going to take that next step – whatever it may be.
And that may be booking your first visit to an Escort / ProDom. So I thought I would start the year by offering my guide to making use of a professional’s services.
One of the greatest taboo’s that probably still exists is that of paying for sex. If you use apps like Grindr, Scruff, Recon, Tinder etc you are already paying for sex with time spent searching. Your time is valuable … you can waste hours on apps trying to find a good fuck. More if you want a kinky session!
One of the great things about paying for an escort is that you get what you want and when you want it, and you won’t feel judged for what you enjoy. I have clients who visit because they have specific fetishes that they get turned on by, and it is difficult to get people who share the interest. And they don’t worry about people telling them fetish is disgusting / weird / stupid / wtf. They get to come along and have mind blowing sex without judgement.
And of course, there are other benefits too like discretion. I never discuss who visits me, what they have done with anyone.
Booking an escort isn’t a sign of failure, it isn’t a sign you aren’t good looking enough to get some fun. It isn’t something to be worried or ashamed about, it is something you are doing to have a great time with someone who is going to make sure you get that great time!
Think about what you are looking for
If you want to see an escort you must first know what you are looking for, and can explain that. Escorts aren’t mind readers – we don’t know what turns you on, what you like nor what you don’t like. We want you to come and have a great time with us, and the best way of doing that is being open and honest about what you’re looking for.
If you want to fuck them tell them that, make sure they are ok with being fucked. If you think your cock is too big for most guys say – ask them how big they can take. Or if you want them to fuck you or introduce you to the joys of anal sex then find out what toys they have, how big their dick is.
If you are looking for domination, have a fetish or fantasy to fulfil share this. Just asking “to be dominated and used” doesn’t give much guidance to the Dom what you like. You’ve probably wanked to various domination fantasies or porn, say what they are.
Another great example is humiliation, for some people it is such a turn on. But there are so many ways of doing it, is it physical or verbal humiliation you’re looking for. If verbal give some indicators of what works of you – calling one person a pathetic worthless cunt drives them wild. Someone else it takes them right out of the headspace and kills the scene.
The more we know about your desires the more enjoyable we can make the session. That’s not to write a script, but to give us a story to work from.
Don’t be driven just by looks and price
When you are booking a service you want the person you are booking to fit the bill! You want them to look good, sexy and appealing. But they also need to know what they are doing and be experienced in what they are offering.
For some sessions the fantasy is more about the looks and the body. The perfect example of this are bodybuilders – just because someone looks incredibly hot in a lycra wrestling singlet flexing their huge muscles doesn’t mean they understand what makes for a really hot muscle worship scene. Or if you really wanted to fuck a huge bodybuilder, even if they like to show off their amazing ass it doesn’t mean they are a bottom. Make sure they can look the part and play the part.
One of the biggest obstacles when booking an escort is financial. Good sex workers aren’t cheap – like with life you generally get what you pay for. You can fly a budget airline where everything is an extra charge, or you can a full service airline where the price paid includes everything. Or you can fly Business / First class to get all the extra attention and service. Escorts are the same, if you want quality and experience you need to pay for it.
This particularly applies if you are looking for a ProDom or fetish session. I have spent thousands of pounds buying BDSM toys and equipment from the best manufacturers in the world. I have spent a lot of time and effort building my dungeon. And that is reflected in my rates – you not only get to spend time with me, but you get to use a lot of equipment most people can’t have at home. And no hidden extra charges – I only charge for the time, not what we do.
Research who you want to visit
There are lots of escorts available for you to choose from, so take some time to research who you want to spend time and more importantly your money with.
A good way of doing this is to have a good wank before you start looking! Then you will be much more objective, you won’t be looking for just the pics and porn, but also making sure they come across as someone you like.
If you look on escort listing sites you will be able to find hundreds of guys happy to help get you off. For a fair proportion of these the escort work is a way of making some extra cash, for some it is even about the fantasy for them and not you. And for a very small number it is their full-time profession. Make sure you find someone who you feel will want to spend the time with you, who wants you to have an amazing time. Unfortunately, there are too many who will sell you the world to get a quick bit of cash.
Think about where they advertise, is it just on one escort listing site? Do they pay for advertising (online directories, printed media ads etc.), do they have a website / social media presence? Do they seem to keep everything updated and have recent photographs?
Checkout their website, a website can say a lot about how serious they are about their job.
Understand the difference between fantasy and reality
Fantasies are amazing, you don’t have to worry about anything – just enjoy the raunchiest, filthiest, perviest sex possible. But unfortunately, reality is very different, and it is important to remember this.
If you haven’t done much arse play, the chances of an intense fisting scene happening are very low. Also, the thought of being locked up in loads of tight bondage and then left in the cage for a day / overnight, amazing idea but food, drink and toilet breaks ruin it.0
So share your fantasies, your ideas, just be aware of limitations!
Remember your manners
This goes so far! Some people need to be reminded of the simple things like please and thank you. Also shower before your appointment, or if coming straight from work / the gym etc ask if you can have one when you arrive and explain why.
If you are running late, send a text or call to check that it is ok, and the same if you are running early! Don’t just turn up an hour early expecting me to be available and ready – I’m not waiting around all day just for you, I have other clients and visitors to think about.
And if you can’t make an appointment say! If you don’t turn up and don’t cancel with more than 24hours notice you will be required to prepay for your next appointment if you want one again. And yes, even if your last one that you forgot about was two years ago, I will remember.
Subspace and subdrop
Sometimes when playing in the dungeon you may find yourself entering what people refer to as “subspace” … nothing to do with Star Trek. It is a mind set where you forget about the world outside the dungeon, you become very focussed on Him, your Sir, and you may feel a real sense of elation of happiness. Some often describe it as feeling like they have taken some amazing drugs.
This subspace is quite an experience, and it doesn’t always happen, sometimes it takes a few sessions to develop it, other times you can fall straight into it. If it happens, enjoy, if it doesn’t happen as you thought it would don’t sweat it. Don’t overthink it – just let yourself go and enjoy the moment.
Some people find that after a session, maybe a few hours or days after, they have a real low. Often referred to as subdrop. It’s not a great feeling, and one that you need to be aware of and prepared for. You need to focus on the high, the good experiences and do whatever you need to help you feel good. A hot bath to relax, a huge slice of cake and coffee on the sofa, a massage, a big soft bed. You will be fine, you will come out the other end and remember how amazing life and its experiences are, just make sure you are prepared.
Quite simple really. Don’t turn up for your booked session drunk, smelling of cannabis or having taking any substances! If you are under the influence of anything I will refuse to see you. Your judgement is impaired and you cannot give me informed consent for any activity.
Paying, tipping and gifts
Some people find the most awkward moment of spending time with an escort is the money. Don’t be embarrassed about paying – this is what has brought us together.
Sometimes people have asked me if they are expected to tip in addition to the advertised rate. That is completely discretionary, any tip will of course be warmly and gratefully received, but it is never be presumed or expected. Gifts are the same.
Some clients don’t feel comfortable paying cash, so I have had arrangements where they can buy new toys or furniture for my dungeon they would like to use or have used on them. Don’t think buying a £10 tit clamp is going to get you a £100 session. But a £1000 Venus Masturbator for example may get you 10 or 12 £100 sessions, it all depends on the arrangements you have and how you approach the subject.
This is business
This is a really important thing to remember. Escorts are self-employed business owners, they are doing the work to make money. This is their job, and like any business they have working hours and will also have life outside of work.
They may not respond immediately to your text or call, they may not be available that day for an appointment – just because you’re horny doesn’t mean they will see you. Respect their time and privacy as well as your own.
A lot of what I have said here is about communicating your preferences and finding out information from the escort. This is important, but there is a fine line! If you step over into wank fantasy territory you will find the conversations stop very quickly.
I’m not going to describe an entire two-hour session for you on the phone to wank over and then you never actually book a session. If you want that I can … but you will be expected to pay for it! Remember, this is business!
There has been quite a bit of don’ts and negatives above, almost feels like it takes the fun out seeing an escort. That’s not the intention!
This is my guide to helping you get the best bang for your buck! I want you to have an amazing time with me (or any escort you book). And if it isn’t fun the escort isn’t doing their job properly and you definitely need to find someone else who is!