Welcome to the Tantric Male blog for Sir Dave!
Check back here for the latest news, appointment availability, new purchases, new ideas and just my thoughts on life work and the world. Oh and maybe the odd photo or collection of photo's I like.
Click an image to view larger size.
Day 16: What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?
There is always going to be a stigma associated with BDSM / kink play or what some may refer to as minority / alternative sexual interests. I’ve been called a deviant before now … I see that as a compliment.
People have preconceptions about sex and sexuality they don’t understand. And they can be very close minded to other people’s interests, and this applies to those both inside and outside the kink community. Sometimes those judgemental attitudes are worst from within our own community which makes me feel sad. Just because you don’t share someone else’s fetish or kink that is ok!
A perfect example is the huge debate / argument / rift in the Pup scene that seems to be going on forever, it almost feels like having the argument has become a fetish in itself for some people! Some see pup play as sexual, some don’t see it as at all sexual. There are groups at both ends of the pup sex spectrum that can’t understand or respect the others interests / perspective on this. I have seen so many bitter arguments and fallings out.
I don’t get it … different people different interests, I can do either depending on the play partner, accept it and respect it.
I think another aspect of difficultly can be finding compatible play partners. Different people have different fetishes / kinks. And sometimes it can be hard find someone into the same stuff as you, and who is willing to play. I’ve done scenes that are the ultimate turn on for people but they may be embarrassed to ask others if they are interested in exploring that particular aspect of their sexuality or feel that asking may offend as it could be considered too “taboo”.
Scenes like feeding / gorging on food – encouraging people to eat, forced tickling, through to more mental play such as racial humiliation. And this comes back to people within our community being judgemental.
My kink may not be your kink … and that’s ok!