Welcome to the blog of Sir Dave where you can find news, appointment availability, new purchases, new ideas and just my thoughts on life work and the world. Oh and maybe the odd photo or collection of photo's I like.

Counting With Sir

15th November 2022

You can view the video that goes with this post here.

One of the biggest thrills for many in BDSM sessions and play is power exchange – the differentiation of the Dom and sub, the Superior and the inferior, the Master and the boy. There are many ways we do this – a collar, a Leathered Sir and naked slave, the language we use – Sir, Master, boy, slut, whore, faggot etc.

I always enjoy exploring this in sessions with something simple. Very much going back to basics to help focus the sub’s mind. Counting. It really is very simple, but surprisingly difficult for many to remember the requirements and protocols.

This of course lends itself perfectly to impact play, counting how many spanks or strokes etc. But can be applied to many other things too – time being the other obvious example. Such as holding a position or enduring an activity for a given period.

So, how to count? One, two, three and so forth is how people count. But that doesn’t mean much – it doesn’t help remind the sub of their position. They need to add one word after each number. Doing this shows an understanding of their place and why they are counting.

That word is of course, Sir.

So now the simple task of counting how many times you are spanked / flogged / paddled / touched has much more meaning to it.

“One Sir! Two Sir! Three Sir! Four Sir! Five Sir! Six Sir!”

The emphasis of how they say it is important – it must show understanding of submission and respect for the Dom. If the sub has been instructed to count a given number, or when the activity being counted has finished, they must also show the utmost respect for their Dom.

“One Sir! Two Sir! Three Sir! Thank you Sir!”

So straight away a simple activity, such as hands tied behind your back, blindfolded and counting each time you feel the light tap of maybe a gloved hand somewhere on your body becomes much more intense, much deeper and much more connected to the idea of bondage, domination and submission.

It is far from being a “heavy” activity, just very simple and one I often use to start a session with someone who hasn’t had any or much BDSM experience. It helps build the trust, very much a deep dive into the scene – and all we have is a simple blindfold, a pair of padded leather cuffs clipped together, and counting to ten.

I know some people who have gone on to become very experienced BDSM players and do very heavy scenes and enjoy many other aspects of play. But they still say the most emotionally intense and memorable scene has been this first simplest one.

That one gave them confidence; gave them such a positive experience they were hungry to explore more. So never feel that you need to do anything to an “extreme” for it to be real / proper / hard play. The simplest of scenarios can be the most intense / hard / extreme scene.

So that is how I like to start a sub / slaves training, a very simple gentle scene and basic instruction. Counting to ten.

But this counting protocol is one I expect them to remember! It will be used many times. Mostly for counting, but sometimes as a time-based instruction. For example, it may be clamps on nipples, weights hanging off balls, or holding a stress position. So, for this scenario, I would expect a slow consistent counting, followed by the “Thankyou Sir” at the end of the counting when the activity will end.

Now of course some boys are a bit cheeky or bratty and count far too quickly, so in that case, an adjustment is required to the instruction, extra respect. So now a count could become:

“Sir, one Sir! Sir, two Sir! Sir, three Sir! Sir, four Sir! Sir, five Sir! Sir, six Sir! Sir, thank you Sir!”

So suddenly the count is slowed down, it also becomes a very simple tongue twister too. If you try to say it too fast, you will most likely make a mistake. Miscounting or forgetting a Sir in the count. And what if the boy does make a mistake? The task and count must be restarted until it is completed accurately and completed properly!

Or perhaps it needs to be expanded further to teach them a lesson because the endurance will be much longer this time.

“Sir, one Sir! Thank you Sir! Sir, two Sir! Thank you Sir! Sir, three Sir! Thank you Sir!”

Now of course, because we are kinky perverts there are always ways of adding extra layers to the play and what we do.

So far, we have trained the boy to show appreciation for what is being done, but they don’t just need to appreciate it, to enjoy it. They need to want it, desire it, to crave it. And we can help train them to do that with three little words.

If we use a flogging scene, the boy has been told he will count out four strokes with a flogger. Nothing too heavy, just a warmup, and to see how this particular flogger feels for them. Before the flogging begins, I need to confirm they are ready for me to start. Are they in a comfortable position, and are they mentally focused and prepared? A simple question – “Ready boy?” But how should they respond? A perfect one I think is

“Hit me Sir!”

Three little words. And they achieve so much for us. First of all, they give confirmation they have understood what is expected of them and that they are ready to begin. It is also helping them understand and deepen their submission by asking to be hit by Sir. And that is also reinforcing that consent has been sought and given for the activity.

A small variation of this for those who wish to communicate they are happy to go harder / further. Or for those who we both know are pain pigs and crave it. When asked if the boy is ready, a response that is always exciting can be either of the following (the second works when we have done the scenario a few times)

“Hurt me Sir!” or “Harder Sir!”

And there where we have it, how the simplest of activities can add such a strong and deep meaning to our play and exploration.

Hopefully, something to think about to add to your own scenes. Or if you want to try out some kinky play for the first time why not book in for an hour and I can teach you how to count.

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Show Your Pride

9th November 2022

I recently opened a little online gift store, initially, it is just selling some mugs that I have designed, and some art/images on mugs that I have commissioned. I am planning on adding more gay, kink, fetish, and or BDSM-related products soon. Something I’ve wanted to offer for a while is chain collars … chain is easy to buy, but not in the lengths you want/need to for a collar and you need to cut it down to length!

You can find the mugs on my SirDGiftstore Etsy site. Most of the products can be customised in some way, and I can also make some custom designs – details below! So let’s have a look at some of the designs available.

Show Your Pride

Show your pride with your identity and pronouns. There are 19 pride flags to choose from (more to be added, any available on request) including the classic six colour rainbow, through Progress Pride, Transgender, Leather, other fetishes, sexualities, and genders.

Along with the flag, you can feature your name and preferred pronouns. The name can be your chosen name, account name, or how you identify (I use Master in the video about the mugs for example).

And then your pronouns – how should you be addressed? I have created a list of suggested ones, but you can always suggest any that you would prefer for printing on the mug. It is your mug and is to reflect who / what you are after all!

There are two different designs of Pride mugs – one has a flag on both sides of the mug with your name vertically along the side. The other has a flag on one side and the identity on the other, or no text as you prefer. On all the designs the names can be anything – your chosen name, your twitter handle, your slave / pup name.

The same for the pronouns – do you identify as “he / him / Sir”, “she / her / Misstress” or maybe more “it / fag / cunt”.

What’s Your Voice?

Have some fun with your identity, show people how serious you are. Do you have a secret Drag Queen voice, maybe a butch gay voice or just very gay!

Great gifts for Christmas for the friend or love in your life.


The Hanky Code is something many are familiar with but there are so many colours it’s hard to remember what they all are! So why not have a mug that shows you 18 of the popular colours on it.

Or what about showing off your own kinks with your coffee? Choose up to eleven hanky colours across Top and Bottom and get a mug printed with them on. Your own personal coffee flirt mug!

So please have a look at the gift store, let me know what you think of the designs or if there are any new ones you would like to see.

Launch Offer

To launch the store you can save 10% on any order with the discount code THANKYOUSIR at checkout.

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Time for a Spanking

19th July 2022

Spanking … something many naughty boys desire, lust after or require.

And it’s something I find so much fun to do! I recently had the pleasure of the visit of a very naughty boy whose bum needed a lot of attention! An hour and half of spanking in fact.

You can see it here halfway through the session, doesn’t it look amazing and warm! Red bottoms are always such a treat to look at. I started him off with some classic over-the-knee spanking through his shorts to get warmed up.

This time also allows me to do something else – have a good feel! Spanking isn’t just hitting someone’s arse – that gets very boring for both parties, there is a skill and an art to it. The area you have to work with is a lot bigger than your hand, and you need to get familiar with it.

So while someone is over your knee you can do some nice gentle slaps, but you can also have a good exploration and get to know what you are working with.

Let them feel your hand running over the ass, down the crack, a gentle touch of the tips of your fingers behind their balls, finding the line between ass and legs and of course a nice big circle to run around the outside of the area you have to work with.

Now as I get familiar I can throw in some good sharp smacks here and there with a nice rub to soothe the buttocks afterwards. The reward if you like. And this can continue for a while, then it’s time for the shorts to come off! It’s so erotic and sexy to see an ass in front of you bent over, asking to be spanked. Craving that warmth and the feeling of the red glow.

The 2nd position often use is with the subject on their feet bent over … but this is a hard position to hold, so I usually put a small stool down for them to rest their hands and upper body weight on. This also allows for spanking to be included into other forms of play, maybe a quick punishment to remind them of their behaviour or that they aren’t showing Sir enough respect. They can be moved to lean over and rest on the stool knowing what is coming.

Since this was a longer session where spanking and impact play was a big part of it there was one place the boy needed to be, on the whipping bench or rather spanking bench for this session. This beautiful piece of furniture is from Fetters Warwick, padded leather support for both body and legs with straps to hold them down … up to 12 of them infact! But I mostly use the rear ones to hold down the legs and body.

And so it begins, the ass as in the perfect position and height for a thrashing!

Now spanking of course affects both of us, the sting of the spank also affects my hand! So to help with this I usually wear my tight leather gloves, they lessen the sing to my hand and look fucking hot. But sometimes even with the gloves, my hands need a little break so have an extensive range of paddles to use.

The paddles also add a different sensation and experience for the bottom, some softer, some worse, some much much worse.

But enough talk, would you like to see a video of the spanking? You should Follow me on Twitter or keep an eye out and you can see a preview in a few day’s time!

Finally – remember spanking or impact play isn’t for everyone! And of course, sometimes marks and bruises need to be avoided which I can do. Just let me know beforehand!

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Rubber, boots, suspension & miking

12th July 2022

This is a picture from slaves visit a few months back, a very memorable and enjoyable time!

A long time ago I saw a picture of another sub/slave in a similar position and always enjoyed the look of it, so when the opportunity came to recreate it I couldn’t say no.

A combination of rubber, tit pegs, suspension and milking with the Venus milker. Perfect! Of course the trick is to keep them on edge as long as possible … not always easily achieved with the milker though.

I didn’t this time but you could add to the intensity of this with say an eStim or vibrating butt plug.

Here I am using a sit suspension harness – easier to set up than the full suspension harness, and a more comfortable seated position for the legs. You just have to get the back support right which can be tricky to get right. But for scenes like this, it is a perfect solution.

Have you seen a photo or video online you find so hot you want to try to recreate it? Why not share it with me and we can see if we can make it happen for you!

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It’s not all “Yes Sir!”

4th July 2022

A lot of people assume that a session with me is all about the “yes Sir” – domination, Master / slave sub / Dom roleplay. Or it’s about pain when we talk about BDSM. It often is, but it doesn’t have to be!

Whenever I am asked what I do I describe myself as a “Professional Fetish Escort”. Some may say Pro Dom but I find that is too specific. I love domination, I love control, I love exploring people’s masochistic side with them. But that isn’t everything I do.

Now if you look through my website you see a common theme – leather and boots. These are two of my biggest gear fetishes! And they are incredibly popular with others I’m pleased to say. But I also have a lot of other gear too, or maybe it doesn’t have to involve gear – let’s just get naked and play around!

So, what do I do – what do I mean by Fetish Escort?

Well, I see my role is to help you explore your kink, your fetish … *your* sexuality and your fantasies and desires. If you want the Leather Master … great! But if you are looking for something more relaxed and maybe just want to try playing around with some mutual fun … perfect we can do that too!

For example, I’ve had people who wanted to try out a bondage chair, a sling, e-stim, or maybe see how a flogging feels. Some have just wanted to try out some gear before they bought their own … finding what a heavy leather hood, fucking machine or rubber vav-rac is like.

And we can do all of that in safe, relaxed space no “Yes Sir” required, just an open mind to see what works for you. It doesn’t always have to be fetish or kink related either.

I’m an excellent massage therapist and can give you the most amazing naked erotic massage, and these are really popular with people who maybe haven’t been with a guy before.

They just want to feel that intimate touch, and to know they are free to touch and explore too without worry about doing something wrong. These massages can be on my regular massage table or maybe the bondage table in the playroom … Some people like the idea of a little light bondage being added to add to the excitement.

Or maybe you would prefer on the bed – naked exploring each other’s bodies and talking about your fantasies.

I also like to think I can help people other aspects of themselves. I have had both male and female crossdressers and transgender visitors. I know lots of guys just love the look and feel of dressing in women’s clothes and underwear- it makes them feel sexy. But they don’t feel they can share that part of themselves with someone else.

Now there are some amazing dressing services around the country for TGirls, and they do a wonderful service! But maybe you want to explore the sexy side I can help with that!

That could just be wearing lingerie like stockings, suspenders and a bra or it can go to being a sissy sucking the cock of a 6foot 2 Leather Man or getting fucked by him with a strap-on for the ultimate pegging experience.

And of course, there are also trans guys too who want to explore their sexuality.

I’ve had guys visit who are incredibly confident in themselves but didn’t feel 100% confident in asking for the sex they wanted or how to explore it.

So yeah, it can be domination and consensual abuse, or it can be just hanging out naked.

Whatever your desire… I can help you explore it without judgement, and hopefully help you make some great memories for your own wank bank.

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