Welcome to the Tantric Male blog for Sir Dave!

Check back here for the latest news, appointment availability, new purchases, new ideas and just my thoughts on life work and the world. Oh and maybe the odd photo or collection of photo's I like.

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Something New

8th January 2019

With January now firmly upon us, many start to think about what they want to do in the new year. So this year lets all try to do something new to expand our interests.

Visit Somewhere New

This year I plan on doing some new bars, clubs and events, how about you, why not try somewhere new. That could just be a visit to a new city, a new cafe or new bar or even try a very different event.

There is now only one leather bar left in the UK – Backstreet. If you haven’t been then I cant recommend you go enough, it is an amazing friendly sexy and sleazy space! And best of all – they ban phones! If your in a leather bar you should cruise, talk, touch, taste and enjoy as you wish! You should do it in real life not on apps!

For my taste too many clubs now are just fuck clubs with a dress code, and for many events not very well enforced. I want somewhere to play, somewhere that has the space and furniture to put on a show! And so this year I will be visiting Kinky Consent in Dudley. A mixed club night that sounds fantastic fun! Look out for the write up in a few months time …

Learn Something New

When we start out on our leather journey of discovery we don’t really know too much. And after a few years we know a little more, maybe we have found a particular interest – rope bondage, single tail whips, humiliation, ass play, objectification or animal role play.

But how do we learn? Most people just make things up and see how it goes, which for a lot of play is fine but for others very dangerous. For example using the wrong type of candles for wax play can lead to very serious burns.

When you start out do you know the importance of aftercare, of the come down for both the Dom and sub? How about knowing how clean some boots properly, look after your leathers or make your rubber super shiney?

Fortunately we usually find others to help us, play partners, Sirs, boys, pups or just friends. And then there is of course a wealth of knowledge in books and other publications that you can refer to and learn from. There are also some online learning resources like FetLife or Kink Academy we can use.

But nothing beats hands on personal coaching, someone showing you how to do something and to help you get better.

So in 2019 why not find someone to help coach you in an aspect of your play you aren’t that confident with. It could be flogging, rope bondage, asserting your dominance or finding your inner pup.

I’m looking forward to booking some private coaching myself this year. What about you?

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Welcome to 2019 … The Year of Kink

3rd January 2019

2018 was a blast, but 2019 is going to be amazing!

Last year we waved goodbye to Tumblr, and this year most people are saying hello to BDSMLR the new home of kink, leather and bondage porn! But one of the best starts to the new year has been my Twitter thread where I asked what was the first TV programme or film that got you interested in kink. There have been some great responses including Darth Vader, Flash Gordon, Rugby games, Terminator to mention a few.

And a few references to one of my early favourite scenes – Bring Out the Gimp in Pulp Fiction. Heart pounding dick throbbing in the cinema!! Another was a film that was on TV, I don’t remember much about it and certainly not the name … but I do clearly remember a guy being handcuffed to a bed and tormented. And then going on the run from his everyday life with the handcuffs locked onto one wrist as a reminder he wasn’t a free man.

Those early memories that sometimes surprise you … a desire or even need to explore and do something you never expected! Going from thinking about it, wanking about the fantasy is something we have all done. But the thought of making that fantasy a reality is something very different and a whole lot more scary.

And that is what I love to do … to help your fantasy become a reality, something you can look back on and enjoy! I had a lovely elderly gentleman visit who told me that he wanted to be able to lie on his deathbed and think back on all the amazing experiences he had enjoyed. Even if he couldn’t share them with anyone, he could enjoy those amazing memories.

This year I will continue to build my dungeon collection, starting in the next few days with new seated suspension to complete my suspension offerings. I’m really looking forward to trying it out – will be perfect to use with the Venus milking machine!

If you are a big fan of really restrictive bondage how would a rubber vac-rac appeal? That is on the list to add in 2019.

I don’t just help start people on their Kink journeys, I also help people out with a Try Before You Buy idea. Do you want to spend over £1,000 on a milking machine never having experienced it … book in for an hour to find out how good it is first!

So whatever your interest, your fantasy, the scene that got you excited to explore perversions and kink I love to hear about them all. And if you would like to try something out then please get in touch!

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New gallery preview

3rd November 2018

I’ve been a big fan of the photographic work of Neil Z Page Images, and have had the pleasure of meeting Neil at several events. So when I decided to get a new series of photo’s for the website and social media it was a very shortlist, so short in fact there was only one name on it.

So this month I will be adding new photos the the gallery page and social media. Follow me on Twitter to find out when they are available, but until then here is a preview:

Photographer: Neil Z Page

We had a great day getting this series of pictures, I’m really excited to share them with you all and looking forward to booking another session in the new year!

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The Leatherman NYC

1st October 2018

On my recent stop over in New York there was one place I had to visit. No not Big Gay Ice Cream (well not this time – though I do love their Bea Arthur ice-cream), it was Leatherman NYC.

San Francisco has Mr S, New York has Leatherman! Both amazing stores and absolute must visit for any kinkster or perv visiting the city.

Leatherman stock a variety of products from companies like Square Peg, Hanky Toys, Ox Balls, Wesco and Alpha Industries. But they also make a load of their own products, both bondage and clothing! And their leather clothing is amazing, and there is one thing that makes this store so special to visit. Their sizing!

This is something that I have complained about before about so many fetish companies, here you can buy a variety of sizes in their shirts and jeans / breeches. After spending a small fortune at Langlitz Leathers and Wesco (blog post coming in the next few days about that), I wasn’t planning on buying anything here. But that plan didn’t last very long – I’m in a store full of Leather and the smell is quite intoxicating.

I’ve been thinking of buying a new waistcoat / vest for a while, something plain and simple. A thumb through the racks and there are plenty of designs and importantly sizes of vests! And the prices are all super reasonable for the quality of the products.

No sooner had I picked one up to try out one of the excellent staff came over to assist and make sure I was ok and could find what I was looking for. And gave advice and feedback on the products – did they look right, was it the right length and size. They wanted to help me find something that fit! And that is how I ended up walking out with a gorgeous 44″ chest new waistcoat (with several larger sizes and styles available) – I couldn’t wait to wear it, and Flaming Saddles was the perfect place to go that evening in it!

For comparison on the sizing issue that most companies don’t address in Regulation and Mister B for example I couldn’t even squeeze into their largest size of waistcoat in the store.

The store has most clothing upstairs, and down a snug spiral staircase, is the large selection of quality toys and bondage kit! And the workshop where much of their amazing products are made and adjusted.

A great store, great service and well worth a visit!

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Stompers … A Boot Worshippers Paradise

26th August 2018

Since posting this image Instagram I had planned on making a blog post about these boots. But news today has led to a change of subject.

Mike McNamee, probably not a name you are familiar with. But one that the Leather community the world over will know the influence of. Mike was the founder and original owner of a store many have visited or certainly heard of – Stompers Boots in San Francisco.

I was saddened to read this morning of the death of Mike, someone I had the pleasure of meeting twice. And both times boots where of course involved! The first was a to the store back in around September 2011, when I ordered one pair of boots, and bought another. Both I still have with me and wear regularly … remember good boots are built to last.

This wasn’t my first visit to SF or indeed to Stompers, but it was to be the first two pairs of boots I bought! Only one of them was planned. I’d finally have an opportunity to order my first pair of Wesco boots – 11″ Harness boots.

When investing in custom fit gear you want to make sure you have your measurements correct. You can’t return them! So having someone experienced do the order is beneficial, and Stompers offered a discount by ordering through them.

Mike was of course excellent in taking the measurements, and making advice on the style, finish and fitting. Fitting and chatting done, time to pay … but then something caught my eye. Of course every wall of the store was covered boots, the store room floor to ceiling packed with boxes! But there was something I noticed, it was actually one of the most popular boots Mike sold I believe. They are Corcoran 985 10″ Black Leather Side Zip Boots.

Read More …

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